Have you ever received funny marriage advice that made you laugh, but you didn’t take it seriously at the time? Of course, until you entered married life and realized that you had received a golden nugget of wisdom that finally made sense.
Men asked each other on Reddit, “What random marriage advice sounded absurd but was actually spot on helpful?” Here are some wise words that these men were given before their nuptials that hopefully made them better husbands.
1. Buy A King Sized Mattress
“My father always said that the best thing he and my mother got for their marriage was a king sized mattress over a queen size.”
2. Don’t Teach Her to Drive
Never teach your spouse to learn how to drive: “Don’t criticize each other’s driving – it leads down a dark path.”
3. Just Buy Two Damn Pizzas Instead of Arguing Over the Toppings
Not the easiest piece of advice to interpret at first but then you realize they are saying to compromise and find a solution that works for both.
4. Clean the Dishes
“My grandfather told me never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.”. What I learned is that he would always help my grandma and that is when they did their most talking.”
5. Tell Them You Love Them During a Fight
“It takes the edge off the frustration/anger and we manage to discuss the issue instead of argue. I feel this, even when I’m mad at my wife I still give her hugs and kisses. Just because I’m mad at you does not mean I don’t love you.”
6. Sleep Apart
“Couples with separate bedrooms have a lower divorce rate. My parents started doing it when my dad did shift work and then stayed that way when he was back on day shifts. Still together in their 60s even though they’re barely compatible lol”
7. The Small Things Can Mean More
“It really is the small mundane things that you do for each other, not the big romantic gestures, that really build a strong marriage. Do the dishes, vacuum or mop the floor when you have some time, clean out and Armor-All their car. Small dumb things, all the time.
8. Accept the Inconveniences
“I like to tell people love isn’t how willing you are to die for them, but how willing you are to be mildly inconvenienced by them.”
9. Do Things Without Being Asked
“It’s not just the little things, it’s the little things that get done WITHOUT BEING ASKED OR TOLD TO.”
“I’m close with a lot of my female co workers and a common theme I’ve noticed is having to coach someone on what to do, at what times, can be just as exhausting as just doing it yourself. It is a common complaint I hear that they shouldn’t have to tell him to do every little thing, it’s common sense”
10. Change the First Diaper
“When our kid was about to be born, someone told me to change the first diaper. They said if you can handle the first one, the others will be easy. So I did. I didn’t know what I was doing, so I asked the nurse at the hospital to teach me, and I changed the first several few diapers while my wife recovered from a difficult labor.
The advice was correct, no other diaper was as disgusting as the first one. It got very easy and I never minded doing it, and my wife was really really grateful. And I loved that I could take on some of the parenting chores, since there was so much that she was the only one equipped to provide.”
11. Solve Problems Together
“My FIL (father-in-law) said always remember it’s you two against the problem not you two against each other. It’s great advice, especially when we disagree. It’s calmed a lot of arguments over the years.”
“My parents’ advice has always been if you’re not both winning, you’re both losing and that sticks with me.”
12. Lower Your Expectations
“Don’t have too high of expectations. My dad told us that, but we found most of our early fights were when one or the other had unspoken expectations of the other or marriage.”
13. Don’t Stop Dating
“Don’t stop dating your spouse.”
14. Don’t Complain About Your Spouse to Others
“Momma said don’t come whining to me about your wife, go talk to her…and don’t spend your time complaining to ANY one about your SO (significant other). If you need advice, ask, but no talking down about your SO, chances are they have a long list of complaints too.”
His mom also mentioned the following quote Rita Rudner said about changing your SO, “That pie’s baked. If you want a different flavor, get a different pie.”
15. Give Them a Cold Drink on a Hot Day
Of course you can also give them a hot drink on a cold day. “Getting something to make them comfortable without being asked is the ultimate form of showing you care.”
16. Be Happy Apart
“Find someone who is ok with you both having separate hobbies. My wife does her thing and I have my hobby. We share some hobbies, but we are ok with spending time apart too.”
17. Don’t Keep Score
“My mom told me once (still can’t decide if this is good or bad- I think just realistic, which helped me!): If you’re expecting 50/50 all the time you’re going to be disappointed a lot. Sometimes it’s 60/40, sometimes it’s 70/30, sometimes it’s 90/10. You’ll have times where he’s doing it all, and he’ll have times where you’re doing it all. I think what she meant was basically marriage is (hopefully) long. Don’t keep score.”
18. Flirt
“Grab each other’s butts as often as possible. Keep the flirtation alive.”
19. Buy Separate Blankets
“Buy two sets of blankets/sheets for your bed. It sounded pretty funny/unnecessary but once we tried it, never going back. We’re both of a blanket hog and now we can hog it all we want without issues. Or one of us hotter/colder you can add or remove blankets only from your side.”
20. Let it Go
Bill Maher said “The three most important words in a relationship aren’t ‘I love you’, they’re ‘let it go’ “.
21. Shut Up or Do It Yourself
“If they do it in a way that you don’t like but it’s getting done, you have two options: shut up or do it yourself. You do not get to tell them how to do it your way.”
22. Get Marriage Counselling Even if You’re Happy
“Little things stack up over time and it’s good to work those things out every couple of years before they become issues.”
23. Make the Grass Greener on Your Side
“My father which has two green thumbs and has grown stuff all his life told me before I got married (22 years ago) “water and fertilize the grass on YOUR side of the fence to make it greener than the other side” he learned this after divorcing my mom after neither one did any watering or fertilizing to make their grass greener. Not always easy but I try and we’ve been married 22 years.”
24. Rub Each Other’s Backs
“You and your spouse should rub/scratch each other’s backs when you wake up and before you go to sleep. It’s one of best perks of being married.”
25. Make Sure You Can Peel Vegetables and Dry Dishes Together
“Lesson: if you can’t stand being in each other’s space, jostling elbows, and coordinating what you’re doing…you don’t belong together.”
26. Determine Your Love Language
“Love the other how they need to be loved”
“Found out about 5 love languages years after I heard that one. It’s been really helpful in our relationship. 11 married, almost 17 together.”
27. Accept that Everybody Changes
“The person your are marrying today will be a different person in 5, 10, 15, 20+ years. So commit to the process together and to loving the person your partner will become.”
“Prepare for your wife to change, and you as well as you get older”
28. Different Strokes for Different Folks
Some people say don’t share bedrooms and bathrooms and some disagree. Do whatever works for you in your marriage
“When my wife was in nursing school there were days when it was the only place (the bathroom)we had time together. Otherwise, getting up and starting your day together on the same page is a great way to build your marriage.”
“The better solution if you have problems in the bathroom is 2 sinks and 2 medicine cabinets.”
“I love separate bathrooms (and bedrooms). I don’t need to be sleep deprived and brush my teeth while you use the toilet to be committed to you. I’m a better person and partner when I’m well rested and have my own space.”
“YES. Separate bathrooms save marriages! That’s what my aunt and uncle told me! Seriously, separate bedrooms are a life saver as well, especially with different sleeping habits/schedules.”
29. Learn How to Fight
It’s normal to have disagreements but make sure you drop the name calling. You’ll regret it when things calm down.
30. Get Them Storage
“Buy a nice box and put it on my spouses dresser for all of the random crap they leave everywhere. Seems simple but has saved us from so many arguments.”
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