His wife is a Gynecologist and works at a hospital. She recently mentioned that she is exposed to bodily fluids during her workday. While he is proud of her for doing such an important job, he’s uncomfortable sharing a bed with her unless she showers first.
She Disagrees About Showering
But she disagreed when he asked her to shower before coming to bed. She thinks it’s unnecessary and feels he is being unreasonable. She argues that she wears gloves and takes precautions to avoid contamination. She also changes her scrubs regularly.
He Feels Uncomfortable
However, he still feels uneasy about the potential exposure to bodily fluids on his wife. He doesn’t think it’s an unreasonable request for her to take a quick shower before bed.
He Moved to the Couch
Since she refuses to shower, he has been sleeping on the couch in the living room instead.
She Thinks He’s Overreacting
His wife thinks he’s overreacting and being ridiculous, but he doesn’t want to compromise his health.
The Readers Responds
He is reaching out to the online community to see if he is going overboard by refusing to share a bed with his wife.
Many Agree She Should Shower
Many readers who work or have spouses who work in a hospital setting agree that they should shower as soon as they get home.
“My mother was an L&D nurse for almost 30 years and in hemodialysis for over 10…the FIRST thing she did was take a shower when she got home. EVERY DAY SHE WORKED. This is with all the precautions of gloves, masks, Hazmat suits, shoe booties, etc.
It’s Better to Be Safe
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with a quick shower after coming home. And nothing wrong with staying away from someone until they do. You were free to ask, and she was free to say no while accepting the consequences of refusing. You sleep on a lumpy couch, and she sleeps alone.”
“I spent a dozen years as an L &D nurse and the next dozen years working in the ER. I always took a shower first thing when I got home. I don’t care how many precautions I took at work. I just felt germy! Hospitals are gross places!”
One Reader Thinks It’s a Big Problem
One hospital employee went so far as to say that the fact that his wife wouldn’t shower after work is problematic.
“Also, a healthcare worker in a hospital setting. Even if you don’t get any bodily fluids on yourself, you never know what microorganisms you’ve acquired. The first thing I do whenever I get home from work is isolate my scrubs and take a shower. It worries me that anybody who works in that setting is refusing to.”
Several Family Members are Doctors
“Aunt was a gynecologist, and she always showered after those procedures. We used to live in a complex with my grandparents, and sometimes she’d arrive before or during big family dinner time. You’d always notice her freshly showered. Given two aunts, an uncle, and grandparents were all doctors, they talked a lot of shop at the dinner table. Anyone of them who did procedures always showered.”
Wouldn’t a Doctor Know Best?
However, some people wondered why he was making such a big deal of this. Considering his wife is a doctor, wouldn’t she know better?
“I’m actually shocked by these responses. I am not exaggerating when I say I have germaphobia. My partner is a doctor and works 12+ hour shifts 6 days a week, and there is no way I’m making him shower when he comes home if he doesn’t need one. I trust him to know if he needs a shower or not. No scrubs on the bed or dirty shoes in the house, but that’s really the only request I have. We sleep in the same bed and knock on wood. I’ve never gotten sick. I am sorry that you are struggling with this, and I do empathize with being anxious about germ exposure, but YTA. Your wife knows if she needs a shower or not.”
Should He Trust Her Judgement?
“Did you know your wife is a doctor? Just to be safe, I think I’d err on the side of trusting her knowledge on the topic. Just saying.”
Someone With Experience Responds
A reader who works in surgery offered the following insight.
“If you are participating in a procedure that has increased risk of bodily fluids getting on you then in most cases you wear a waterproof gown over top of your scrubs and remove it after the procedure. We use protection in the hospital to protect ourselves. I’d be more concerned about her shoes if she was wearing her work shoes in the house than her body or clothes. A very easy way to tell if she is actually not protecting herself at work or washing up before coming home is if you used to get sick sharing a bed with her, but now as you sleep on the couch, you don’t.”
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