10 Parenting Trends You Follow But Need to Stop

Parenting is not one size fits all for children. However, there are certain parenting trends people say are doing children a disservice. The following are parenting styles that people have experienced or witnessed and believe are damaging to children.

1. Taking a Video of a Child During a Meltdown

a boy is upset, having a meltdown
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“I think about how I would feel if I were having a meltdown and someone shoved a camera in my face… Like someone help me out here? You know.”

“Yes! Just exploiting/ using any child at all as a prop for attention/views and “likes” on the internet, is always creepy!”

“Recording your children when you punish them. That’s private- not for the public. Anything posted on the internet lasts forever. And children are cruel. Wait until people at school see. They will carry that their entire lives.”

2. Using Technology to Babysit

two boys on an ipad
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“My sister-in-law preoccupies her kid, and has since birth with a tablet. He is now 12 and has no friends and zero interpersonal skills. He takes his iPad to dinner, to grandmas, to church and never talks to anyone. Its very sad to see.”

“Same with my SIL. We were at a wedding where they were literally in the front row and she still had him on his tablet. Drives me wild and makes me sad. I wish people would TALK and PLAY with their children instead of let the iPad be the babysitter.”

3. Not Allowing Kids Some Independence

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“My wife and I are basically neighborhood pariahs because we allow our children to ride their bikes around our quiet, low crime suburban town. I’ve had a parent flat out tell me he won’t allow his son to come over without him because I might do something crazy like let them shoot hoops on the basketball net out front without standing there watching them. Children need a little bit of freedom. You can’t be expected to make grown up decisions when you never had the opportunity to make child decisions.”

4. Sharing Personal Things About Your Child

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“I absolutely hate how family members will spill private secrets and constantly complain and make jokes about you on the telephone or when families gather.”

“Don’t tell people personal things about your child, and if you aren’t genuine about the care of your child you shouldn’t have children in the first place.”

5. Being Too Strict

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“Extremely strict rules in general. I had a childhood friend that came over after school once and he said he had to be home by 6. Didn’t think much of it so we lost track of time playing games. He lived about a 10 minute walk up the street and he noticed it was 5:52, then started freaking out. “My dad’s gonna kill me if I’m late!” I tried saying he wouldn’t care about 2 minutes. The next day in school my friend said he wasn’t allowed over my house anymore, and I never hung out with him again. All over this kid being 2 minutes late getting home.”

6. Over Scheduling Activities

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“When I was teaching, I remember my kindergartners telling me they had no time to play because every day consisted of non-stop structured sports, dance and such.”

“When I was teaching a had an 8 year-old student who kept falling asleep in class. We found out it was because dad was getting him up at 5 for sports practice.”

“It’s so sad. For some reason, the parents who do this don’t understand that they’re speed running burnout.”

“Putting your kids in as many programs as possible. Assuming that it’s your job to help them find their “thing” so they can be happy and successful in life. I think it just makes kids over busy, stressed, unable to explore freely in down time, not know what to do with stillness.”

7. Making Your Child Feel Terrified to Fail

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“I have a friend with a 9-year-old brother and the kid won’t do anything because he is to scared to fail. He doesn’t even want to ride bikes because he is to scared to fail, and honestly it’s pretty sad.”

“I was called an idiot probably more than my actual name. “You’re gonna end up flipping burgers for a living!” was what I always heard if I ever dared bring home a grade that wasn’t a 100%.”

8. Not Letting Kids Make Mistakes

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“My father-in-law made sure his daughters (my sisters-in-law) never had to experience a single consequence or reaction for their mistakes. They are adults in their late 20s now and both cannot handle the slightest gust of wind. They are very immature and developmentally arrested. One of them has never worked or paid a bill, and this is not a rich family.”

“Yeah, it’s called Bulldozing and it’s annoying as heck. Try working in a university setting with these kids. “I can’t possibly be failing that class, the professor obviously sucks,” etc”

“My parents would blow up over any mistake and I am now a terrified perfectionist.”

9. Allowing Kids to Go Wild in Public

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“Letting your kids scream and jump around the restaurant while pretending it’s not going on.”

10. Over Protective Parenting

girl wearing a helmet while her mom ties her shoes
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“Kids need to slowly, safely learn to manage risk and that means that they must take risks. Not letting kids learn this hurts them as adults and preparing kids for lives as adults is really what parenting is all about.”

“It’s not for the benefit of the child in most cases, just narcissistic control. Or the parent is just extremely over-anxious and can’t see beyond that.”

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