The original poster (OP) has been working at the same company for two years. She has become good friends with one of her coworkers, but her recent behavior looks like she might be trying to step out of the friend zone.
She likes to Bake and Bring Treats to Work
OP likes to cook and bake but she says her roommate is “obsessively a healthy eater” so she likes to bring her leftovers into the office to share.
She Became Friends With Denzel
Denzel was hired about a year after OP. She says they hit it off right away and within a few months, people were joking that they were “work husband and wife.” OP thought this was a cute and funny comment.
Denzel is Married
OP says although they have great chemistry, Denzel is married so nothing has ever happened between them although she wishes it would.
Denzel Stopped Eating Her Snacks
OP says at first Denzel used to really like her baked goods. But then she noticed that he stopped eating the snacks she brought in.
She Asked Him Why
OP asked Denzel why he stopped eating her snacks and he said that he and his wife were trying the keto diet.
She Decided to Accommodate His Diet
OP says she decided to make keto snacks so that Denzel could still enjoy her treats. She made him a batch of keto muffins.
He Refused to Eat Them Still
Denzel didn’t try the keto muffins either. When OP asked him why, he said that he was trying to lose some weight.
She Offered to Make Something Healthier
She told him he didn’t look like he needed to lose weight but she would try to make some healthy snacks next time so he could partake in her food without compromising his diet.
He Told Her it was Unnecessary
Denzel told OP she didn’t need to make anything special for him.
She Didn’t Listen
She found a recipe for low calorie scones and made and brought those in a few days later. She also forwarded him information regarding fitness and calories counting apps that he could use as a resource.
Megan Talked to OP
Megan who is friends with Denzel and his wife outside of work took OP aside and said she needed to stop pushing food on Denzel.
Denzel is Feeling Uncomfortable
Megan said Denzel was feeling uncomfortable and that it made it look like OP was interested in him romantically.
Megan Threatened to Report Her
Megan threatened to report OP to the HR department if OP didn’t stop.
OP Was Shocked
OP says she was shocked and tried to tell Megan that she was just being nice and trying to accommodate everyone when she brings treats into the office.
OP Thinks Megan is Overreacting
OP says that Denzel didn’t say anything about being uncomfortable and reporting her to HR seems like a huge overreaction by Megan. But OP is confused if she was wrong to offer to accommodate Denzel’s diet.
The Readers Respond
All of the readers who responded believed that OP is overstepping the line and is clearly showing interest in Denzel.
She Won’t Take No for an Answer
Denzel is trying to tell her that he’s not interested in her or her baked goods, but OP seems to be missing all the signs.
“Learn to read a room. Denzel is married. Denzel has another woman trying to feed him who does not take No for an answer. He TOLD you not to make him anything special. And you kept at this. When he quit eating your food, you should have taken a hint. I think he called it EXACTLY right, you’re parading yourself as potential wife material, and you’re a very thin line from being pulled into HR to talk about appropriate work behavior. You weren’t bringing leftovers anymore. You were baking for a specific employee and pushing it at him. Alarms are ringing and you owe Megan a huge thank you for cluing you in before you lost a job. Go look for AVAILABLE males that you do NOT work with rather than hoping the married coworker decides to cheat.”
Many are Praising Megan
Several readers said that Megan was trying to help her realize what OP was really doing and how it was affecting Denzel.
“It takes ONE “I’m uncomfortable” comment to HR to cause an issue. You got your warning. Megan is doing you a favor- you do NOT want a wife showing up. If she is noticing the behavior, you aren’t hiding your admiration for Mr. Denzel.”
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