Revealed: What Attracts Men to Women

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Male readers were asked what qualities make a woman instantly attractive to them. Some answers are surprising! Here is what they had to say:

1. Sense of Humor

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“Being naturally funny to the point was can just riff and both be cracking up. Met one girl in my life that would have me constantly dying so I invited her out to the bar since all our mutual friends were going out. We spent all night just cracking jokes and trolling men who would approach her.”

Man I never wanted to pop a ring on someone’s finger faster I swear.”

2. Being Passionate About Something

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“I love when a girl starts pouring out her thoughts on a favorite topic. Seeing the excitement behind her eyes and increase in animation is super cool!”

3. Actively Conversing

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“Whenever they listen to the conversation and contribute. There’s a thing of waiting for your turn to talk, and then there’s actually listening adding to the conversation. You should never just be waiting to talk, listening and understanding another persons point is important to me.”

“Completely agree with you. Active listening is a rare quality, and more often than not, people are just waiting their turn to speak.”

“If she is responsive and interested in a convo, it is the best.”

4. Confidence

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“Confidence trumps all of it for me. Some women just have a presence when they enter a room that demands attention and it’s so attractive. You pick up on it even before you really get a good look at them.”

“I’m a sucker for if a girl does not have a hint of shyness to them.”

“I was at a college event where a girl who I’ve only talked to briefly approached me and started teasing me/treating me like we’ve known each other for years.

Even a blind person can see she was attracted to me but the sheer boldness and eye contact she had instantly roped me in.”

5. A Good Heart

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“Having a good heart. Building people up rather than tearing them down.”

6. Eye Contact

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“I had a gorgeous red head make eye contact with me on the street in San Francisco in 1990 while in town for a bike race. We were walking past each other and she held my gaze the whole time and I felt like lightning was shooting through me.”


7. Her Personality

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“I’m 53 and dated a fair bit over the years (now settled) I’ll be honest there wasn’t one thing that connects them all. Some it was their looks, some their figure or whatever made me think “Egads I’ll give it a try, worst they can do is say no.” But, after that initial meeting, it’s all about personality. Looks fade with age but someone who can make your day better and make you laugh is a keeper.”

“That includes confidence, self esteem, intelligence, and friendliness. I have known gorgeous women that were ultimately unappealing due to personality issues. Also, I have met women whose personality made them hot.”

“It’s the personality for me and it trumps everything else. Looks are great, but I’ve met plenty of women who society labels as beautiful, but they are just terrible to be around. I believe beauty starts with the personality and that will always be the determining factor for attractiveness and friendship.”


8. Vulnerability

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“People are so guarded and closed off, being able to have an open genuine interaction with someone who is willing to share who they truly are is wildly attractive. That’s what made me fall for my wife so quickly, she was so vulnerable and authentic from the start I couldn’t help but fall in love with her.”


9. Intelligence

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“Like, just like instant, at-first-sight attraction, yeah, it’s going to be physical characteristics, like legs, eyes, etc, but for much beyond that, their intelligence, ability to have interesting conversation with, and knowledge of the world (politics, history, etc) are the things that hold me and keep me continually interested.”

10. Wearing Yoga Pants

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“Only 5% of women who were yoga pants actually do yoga …. and 100% of men don’t care.”

“Yoga pants are my kryptonite.”

11. Down to Earth

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“When she’s down to earth and not mean for no reason.” 

“Attitude. And I don’t mean ‘have A attitude’. Just be confident in yourself. The ‘I’m beautiful’ look is a downer. Being able to look a guy in the eye and talk coherently is sexy as hell.

Yes, a nice ass or nice pair is what we see first, but it will only take you so far. I’ve totally ignored a ditzy 10 to talk to a girl who some would consider ‘plain’ because she could carry on an intelligent conversation and had a good sense of humor.”

12. Her Hair

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“Nicely styled hair of any variety immediately attracts me to anyone regardless of gender. It shows me that you take your appearance seriously and have a sense of personal style.”

13. Her Smile

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” I think smiling makes every girl more approachable and more attractive.”

“People are much more attractive when they smile, regardless of how crooked their teeth are. Seeing a girl smile, gets me smiling too!”

A good smile. Seriously. I fell in love the first time I saw my wife smile, and I swore I would do anything to see that smile every day. Thirty years later, her smile still makes me melt.

14. Physically Fit

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“A girl who works out. I’m a sucker for nice legs too.”

“A fit body and a physical appearance that says they have good hygiene.”

“A girl that goes to the gym she does not have to have the perfect body at all something about the work in the gym is more attractive than the body itself.”

15. Women who have Hobbies

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It’s kind of crazy how many people just literally don’t have hobbies besides drinking, hanging out and being on their phone. When people have interests they are passionate about or skills they try to improve on is very attractive to me.

16. She’s Fun

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“Being fun to be around. Outgoing and a sense of humor. Personality over looks any day of the week.”

“I’ve been attracted to women who were less pretty than other women just because they were so fun and friendly to be around.”

“Pretty face, hygiene, curvy figure, cute outfit, most importantly having a friendly and outgoing personality. I’ve been attracted to women who were less pretty than other women just because they were so fun and friendly to be around”


17. She Looks Happy

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“Genuine happiness. That alone puts her leagues above most in my eyes. With a good eye you can spot it immediately.”

“Having a great attitude.”

“Positive outlook on life.”

18. She Knows More Than One Language

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The ability to speak multiple languages

19. That She’s Attracted to Him

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“For a long time, I was looking for a girlfriend to become, eventually, my wife. But nobody was looking back. Then one did so I decided to pursue the relationship. Now I’ve been married to a curly haired goddess for 15 years.”

“To me the biggest turn on is knowing the women is into me, so a girl who can communicate that without playing games and making me second guess is especially attractive. To second on that I’d say if a man knows your into him, HIS confidence and therefore attractiveness will likely only increase as well.”

“Noticeable attraction to me. I immediately notice all the features i hadn’t prior, it’s like people morph.”

“I have always said that the reason I fell in love with my wife was the way she looked at me when she saw me.”

More Related Articles from This Mom is On Fire:

First Date Red Flags Men See in Women

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Responses were curated from Reddit.

20. She’s Hot 

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Of course being beautiful is on the list!

“In truth a pretty face and a cute smile. After that, a confident woman is very attractive.”

“Having a pretty face catches my attention. Pretty eyes lure me in. But if you have those attributes and are not a nice person, I can walk away and not look back.”

“Even if I notice other physical attributes first, the face is what makes or breaks it. If she has a pretty face, i can overlook a lot.”

“Attitude, pretty face, being bilingual is a bonus that kinda makes her crazy attractive to me.”