The original poster (OP) is 33, married, and pregnant. She lives in a two-bedroom home with her husband and his 23-year-old daughter. OP and her stepdaughter get along fine but don’t have a close relationship.
With a baby on the way, OP thinks it’s time for her stepdaughter to move out because they need the space. Also, she has a full-time job and is an adult, so OP believes it’s time for her to become independent. OP and her husband can’t afford to buy a new, bigger house. At first, OP’s husband agreed, so they both spoke to her about moving out. They also said they would help her with the first 2 months of rent. OP told her they could shop together for her household needs, and she would help her decorate her apartment. OP says they tried to be gentle when asking her to move out, but her stepdaughter was very quiet.
OP says her stepdaughter privately told her husband that even though she has a full-time job, she can’t afford to live independently. OP’s husband told his daughter not to worry and that she didn’t need to move out. OP says they are now scrambling to find space for the new baby. However, OP decided not to give up. When she was home alone with her stepdaughter, she tried to talk to her about moving out again. She offered to help her find a roommate to live with, but her stepdaughter became angry and snapped at her. She told OP to leave her alone and locked herself in her room.
When her husband got home from work, he was angry and told OP to leave his daughter alone and not bring up moving again. OP says things have gotten awkward and uncomfortable, making her pregnancy more stressful. OP can’t understand how she is wrong to expect an adult woman with a full-time job to move out on her own.
The Readers Comment
Many readers think that OP is being harsh with her stepdaughter, and she should understand that if she and her husband can’t afford another home, how can her stepdaughter afford to pay rent.
“Exactly, I was just about to post that if the two adults can’t afford 3 bedrooms, how do they think the young adult probably just starting her career can afford 1.”
“My partner and I make above minimum wage and still are struggling with a one bedroom I can’t imagine doing it alone.”
“My 26 yo daughter is living with me despite having a college degree and good full time job with benefits: that pays exactly $4.00 more per hour than i was earning at my first full time job–in 1983. There is no way she could afford her own place. Luckily we get along fine and she has determined she’d rather share with me than with several random roommates. Offering to help with 2 months rent is nothing. Your husband had no issue with her living at home.”
“My kids are young now, all under 10, but my husband and I fully expect at least half of them to be living with us well in to their 20s. It’s the new normal!”
Some readers defended OP, saying the step-daughter can get roommates like OP suggested.
“I don’t get how people think a young professional having to rent an apt with roommates compares to a couple with a baby on the way buying an entire new house.”
“They have the savings to help her with rent for a few months, she has a full time job and is an adult. She can get roommates who aren’t expecting a child and stop using parents as a crutch. She’ll have to learn to live within her means and grow up. I’d start charging her the rent based on a one bedroom apartment in the area since she wants her parents and a screaming baby as roommates.”
“Oh she won’t be moving out until they kick her out. Guaranteed. I’m 35 and cannot believe the mindset of kids in their 20s today. Get a life, take care of yourself, be an adult.”
“OPs husband originally agreed but when the daughter started crying about it, he went back on his agreement because he’s a pushover.”
Do you think OP is right and her stepdaughter should move out? Should she suggest charging her rent? Or should she stop rocking the boat and start organizing their home to make space for the baby?
This article was produced by This Mom is On Fire.
This post originally appeared on Reddit.
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