The original poster (OP) has a transgender sister who came out to the family a year ago after moving out on her own. She had secretly been doing hormone treatment for a while. Their parents are very conservative and also transphobic.
The Sister is Cut Off From the Family
As a result of telling her family the news, there was a big fight and many people, including her parents decided not to talk to her transgender sibling anymore. OP has tried to remain supportive by using her pronouns, her new name and visiting her often.
She Promised to Invite Her
OP promised to invite her when she got married in the future despite all the tension with family members.
Her Parents Treat Her Fiancé Like a Replacement Son
OP’s parents absolutely adore her fiancé and since her brother became a sister, they have seen her fiancé as a substitute son. Her fiancé also sides with her parents and says he doesn’t really like her sister.
Her Parents are Professional Wedding Planners
Her parents said they will plan her wedding and will pay for everything.
She Wants to Invite Her Sister
OP told her parents she wants to invite her sister but they refused because she disrespected the family and cut them off. They have OP an ultimatum that if she invites her sister, they won’t plan or pay for anything and they won’t even attend the wedding.
She Gave in to Her Parents
She agreed with her parents because she and her fiancé can’t afford to pay for an entire wedding by themselves. Also, her fiancé pressured her to accept her parent’s deal.
She Uninvited Her Sister
Her sister was extremely upset but OP invited her to a smaller afterparty over Zoom so they can still be together on her big day.
She Feels Guilty
OP still feels guilty about not inviting her sister and is wondering if she is wrong.
The Online Community Responds
A response from a reader that received almost 48,000 votes of approval said that OP is wrong and is also marrying a transphobic man.
Another reader chimed in to say that OP isn’t being a good sister “I don’t think OP supports her sister all that much. Calling a trans woman by her pronouns and visiting one’s sister ‘every so often’ is just basic respect and decency. It doesn’t give her bragging rights. The one thing that actually seemed like support – her promise to invite sister to her wedding – did not happen at all. What else has OP done to support her sister? She didn’t do anything supportive before, and when confronted with a choice – between her sister and their transphobic parents – she chose the parents. She could’ve opted for a more low-key affair with her sister there.”
What Do You Think?
Should she put her foot down and invite her transgender sister? Is it worth upsetting her family and losing the financial help to invite her?
Source: reddit
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