The original poster (OP) has a 19 year-old daughter Ariel with his ex-wife Lauren. Their split wasn’t amicable and his relationship with his daughter suffered as a result. Here is their story.
They Were Young When She Got Pregnant
He had a daughter with his wife at a young age and it was a struggle. OP had to move in with his wife’s family and work two jobs.
His Wife Was Talking to Other Men
His wife’s friend told him that she had been giving out her number to men and messaging them when they went out. He found the evidence on her phone.
He Ended the Marriage
This ended the relationship between the married couple when his daughter was just 2 years old and he asked his wife for a divorce. His wife wanted to get back together but he didn’t so they decided on a split custody of their daughter.
She Was Angry
Lauren made OP’s life hell and constantly bad mouthed him. She would intentionally miss pick up times and make decisions about their daughter without consulting him first.
They Agreed to Split College Costs
They agreed that they would share the responsibility of financing their daughter going to college.
He Eventually Remarried
OP began dating his ex-wife’s friend Tori, the one who told him about the cheating, 2 years later after he divorced Lauren. He eventually married Tori when Ariel was 6 years old.
Lauren Says He Cheated With Tori
His ex-wife was convinced that he had an affair with his friend and had a baby together. The timelines do not match up for this to be possible.
His Daughter is Rude to His Family
He tried everything to involve his daughter with his family but she was just rude to them. His son also shut himself away in another room when she visited which made him upset as he had also invested in therapy to try and resolve some of the issues.
She Didn’t Invite His Family to Her Graduation
He was invited to his daughter’s graduation party but his family wasn’t invited. He told his daughter that he found it disrespectful to not invite his family and he would not be attending.
His Ex Expected Him to Pay for College
His ex-wife expected him to continue to pay for the college fees. She called him to ask when he would pay for college for his daughter. He said that he would not pay for college and reminded her of how her father tried to buy custody of their child. He said ‘You win’ to his ex-wife. He argued that he did not want to pull money out of his household when his daughter did not respect 2/3rds of his household. He also told her he already paid for 18 years of child support.
He Blocked Communication With His Daughter
He gave the reasons as to why he would not be paying for college and blocked contact with both his ex-wife and his daughter. He told them that he was done with both of them.
He told his daughter to look into loans. He gave her an ultimatum – that he would pay for college if she made some sort of effort with his family and try and form a bond with them.
He told his daughter that she needed to change her attitude and that if she wanted help from him.
His Daughter Was Upset
His daughter started crying but he did not believe that it was genuine. His new wife supported his decision. He was fed up with being made to feel like a bad person.
He was also tired of getting grief from others about the decisions that he has made about his daughter. He is reaching out to the online community to ask if he is wrong for cutting off his daughter for never making an effort with her step-mother and half-brother.
The Readers Respond
With over 30,000 upvotes, this reader commented that other commenters needed to “get off their high horse” and “put themselves in his (OP’s) shoes.”
They continued saying “His daughter treats him like an ATM all the while disrespecting him. What’s worse is she wants him to pay for college, with money that will come from both him and his new wife who she treats poorly. Like it or not they are family and if she refuses to be a part of that family she has no right to additional support from it. She can’t have it both ways. He paid child support. He made sure she was taken care off growing up. She is now an adult and has to deal with the consequences of her actions.”
Another reader observed that OP’s daughter is the same age now as when he had her. They further added “considering the fact that your daughter is the same age you were when you had her, and you start the post by talking about mistakes you made when you were her age, that you would understand that youth is not equal to perspective, and maybe not take your frustration with the situation out on her by damaging her future prospects.”
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