The original poster (OP) was married to her husband a few days prior to posting on a forum asking for advice. She says the wedding went smoothly other than an incident she had with one of her bridesmaids named Anna.
Anna’s Mother Passed Away
Anna’s mother passed away a few months before the wedding. OP says Anna was very close to her mother and had been uptight and distant since she passed away. OP says she supported Anna while she was grieving.
They Planned an Ocean Theme
OP was getting married a few months after Anna’s mom passed. She said they were planning to have an ocean themed wedding for months because she grew up on the seaside and has always been close to the ocean.
She Gave Them Color Options
She says she made it very clear to all of her bridesmaids that they were to wear blue, coral pink or pastel green. Everyone agreed and loved the color choices.
Anna’s Mother Loved Purple
Anna’s mother loved dark, vibrant purple. Ever since her mother passed, Anna purchases things she wants in the color purple.
OP Said No to Purple
They went out for lunch together and Anna asked if she could wear a purple dress to her wedding. OP told her no because she wanted to stay on theme to honor her family’s tradition.
Anna Was Upset
Anna was upset and left the lunch earlier than expected. OP hardly heard from Anna after the lunch despite her attempts to message, call and even knock on her door went unanswered.
Anna Sent a Message
After a few days, Anna sent a message asking “What do you think of these dresses?” She then sent pictures of different purple-colored dresses. OP reminded Anna that she couldn’t wear purple to her wedding.
Anna Was Furious
OP tried to tell Anna that she understood her feelings but her wedding was her own special day. But Anna blocked her anyways.
Anna unblocked her a couple of days later and apologized for the way she acted.
The Wedding Day
On the day of the wedding Anna showed up in a purple dress. OP asked her why she went against her wishes and told her to either change her dress or leave the wedding.
Anna Started Screaming
Anna started yelling and called OP and her family “Insensitive, selfish b*stards.” Anna was eventually escorted out of the door screaming.
OP Received Messages From Anna’s Family and Friends
Anna’s family, friends and even Anna herself sent OP messages saying that she was going through a lot and OP was being a jerk.
Was She Wrong?
Now OP is asking, was she the a**hole for not letting Anna wear the “damned purple dress?”
The Readers Respond
Many readers supported OP and said that if Anna was so distraught, she should have stepped down from her bridesmaid role.
“If she’s grieving so deeply that she really needed to wear that color, she should have offered to step down as bridesmaid. As a guest, she could wear the purplest purple that ever purpled without an issue.”
It Was OP’s Day
“It was your wedding. Not a memorial for her mother. You didn’t request anything out of the ordinary and her friends and family are not helping her move through anything in a healthy manner.“
Many also suggested that Anna could have worn purple jewlery “She could pair a color-themed dress with purple accessories. Coral pink with purple statement necklace, navy blue with royal purple (and gold). If she’s creative, there are many ways to incorporate the purple.”
Anna Needs Help
“She needs mental help. After the screaming Anna was escorted out, I hope some Anna’s family and friends are actually doing something to help her, besides calling you an a**hole.”
Many said OP should cut off communication with Anna as well. “Anna needs real mental health care to deal with her grief. That is what you should be focusing on. Getting her the help she needs. ‘I’m done with this conversation and if you or anyone in your family texts me again about this I will consider it harassment.’ Then block.”
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