The original poster (OP) is a pregnant 26-year-old woman going through a very rough pregnancy. She recently passed out, hit her head, and was hospitalized for a week. When she returned home, she found that her husband’s brother and his family had moved in because they were evicted and had nowhere to go. They took over two of their three bedrooms. The room that was her office was emptied out, and her papers were thrown into her bedroom. OP says the house was a complete mess, with trash, dirty clothes, and used diapers everywhere.
She complained to her husband, who said it ‘wasn’t that bad.’ She went to sleep and asked him to clean up before she woke up. But he didn’t do anything, and she had to start cleaning up herself. The following day she tried to work, but the brother’s kids were crying and banging on walls while the mother ignored them. When OP’s husband came home, he was upset that she didn’t make his brother’s wife feel welcome or help her with the kids. He then complained that nothing was done about the state of the house while he was at work.
Her Family Steps In to Help
OP said she was too sick to have company, and they needed to leave, but her husband said he wouldn’t kick his family out. OP was so frustrated and exhausted that she called her mom and asked to stay with her after telling her the whole story in front of her husband. Her mom was furious and brought her three older brothers to the house to help clean up. They complained loudly about how disgusting his brother and family were and how horrible the husband was for putting OP through this while she was sick.
OP also received a text message from her mother-in-law calling her a bad person for not helping her husband clean the house and for putting his brother in an uncomfortable position by having her mom boss him around. She was obviously given incorrect information.
The Readers Furiously Comment on the Situation
This reader received 37k upvotes for this comment:
“Wait.. your MIL called.. to fuss at you for INVOLVING YOUR MOTHER?!?! There’s this pot kettle thing..but house guests in a shared home require TWO yeses and only one no. Both of you agree or it shouldn’t happen. Your husband has treated you abominably. I’m not sure I could deal with that honestly. Can you go stay w your mom?”
Several other readers agreed:
“This. I usually don’t jump on the “ditch the bf/husband” train, but OP seriously needs to look out for herself and there’s so many red flags that simply cannot be ignored. Her body is under a lot of stress and she should be resting, not catering to BIL, his partner and their kid(s), and then dealing with a completely oblivious husband AND his mom.”
This story set off red flags for many readers, wondering if OP’s husband has turned abusive. OP insists he has always been respectful before this incident. But it’s like a switch went off, and he isn’t the loving person he usually is.
“I know this may be hard to hear, but I don’t think this is about his brother. You’re now pregnant with his child and tied to him forever, this is when a lot of abusers show their true colors. It’s time for you to start thinking about exit strategies. I think you are under-reacting (which is understandable considering your current health).”
Several readers said they were also abuse victims, and their significant other changed like a light switch. Many advised her to leave the relationship and praised her supportive family.
“I was very reassured hearings OP has a supportive family. It’s everything, OP. I read reply after reply “Happened to me too”. It’s a lot, been there, pregnant, tied to an abusive man who flipped that switch. No one here is trying to alarm you although it’s scary, yes. We’ve been there and our hearts are genuinely with you. You’re pregnant, you deserve to be treated with respect, love and support. No one can tell you what to do, obviously. I hung in there hoping beyond hope the person I thought he was would ‘poof’ appear again. Mistake, ended up having to scramble with a newborn. Luckily had your kind of support with my family. The situation you have now might not get better across the board. It’s too much.”
“You clearly have a close connection with your family OP. Get out now. Have mom rally your brothers again and get all your important documents, important items and keepsakes, and leave.”
“The only way to maybe switch it back is to show how seriously it’s effecting you. Leave!! Pack up your stuff and tell him this is grounds for a divorce. Go stay with your mom. Maybe that will wake him up…. But I doubt it. I think he’s showing you his true colors. The honeymoon phase is over. If Im right, you’re better off without him.”
Do you think OP’s husband is abusive, and should she leave him? Should she give him another chance or live with her supportive and loving family?
This article was produced by This Mom is on Fire and the post is originally appeared on Reddit.
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