The original poster (OP) has a terrible peanut allergy, and even though her boyfriend knew about it, he continued to eat peanuts. One day, he caused OP to have a serious allergic reaction which required hospitalization. Even though it was his fault, he would not pay for the money. OP ended up suing her boyfriend for the medical bills, and now wonders if she was in the wrong.
OP Had a Boyfriend
OP, a 21 year-old woman, had a 24 year-old boyfriend, and they were together for four years.
OP and Her Boyfriend Didn’t Have Much Money
Both OP and her boyfriend were in college so they didn’t have much money. OP had a little bit saved up in her bank account, but this was just to pay for college.
OP Was Deathly Allergic To Peanuts
OP had always been deathly allergic to peanuts. According to doctors, even the smallest speck of peanut could her harmful. She is always very careful about what and where she eats.
Her Boyfriend Was Aware But Still Ate Peanuts
OP’s boyfriend knew exactly how allergic she was to peanuts, and still kept eating them regardless. He would make sure not to kiss her immediately after eating peanuts, and he’d make sure to wash afterwards, but he would still eat them. OP always felt like the boyfriend was putting her life at risk, but she couldn’t force him to stop either.
A Kiss Resulted in an Allergic Reaction
Lo and behold, one day, the boyfriend had eaten some peanut products and kissed OP. OP had a very fast and severe allergic reaction that caused her throat and lips to swell up.
OP Almost Died on the Way to the Hospital
OP used her EpiPen, and in spite of this, almost suffocated to death on the way to the hospital. By all means, OP nearly died because of her boyfriend’s irresponsibility.
OP Told Her Boyfriend He Should Pay Her Medical Bill
OP told her boyfriend that it was his fault that she almost died and was now incurring such huge medical bills. The bill was $5000, and as far as she was concerned, OP should be paying for it.
Her Boyfriend Said He Didn’t Have Money
Her boyfriend said that he didn’t have enough money and that he wouldn’t be paying anything. Not only was he broke, but he also took it one step further, saying that it wasn’t his allergy, and therefore wasn’t his fault.
His Mom Started Sending Her Mean Messages
The boyfriend even got his mother and family involved, to the point where the mother started sending mean, rude, and threatening messages to OP.
OP Took Her Boyfriend to Small Claims Court
However, OP was not willing to take this lying down, and refused to pay for the bill herself. So she decided to take the boyfriend to small claims court to try and get her $5000.
Her Boyfriend Was Furious and the Relationship Ended
At this point, the boyfriend got so upset, said that she was being selfish, and the relationship effectively ended.
She Continued Receiving Messages From His Family
After the relationship ended, OP continued to receive rude and threatening messages from his mother and other family members. She chose to ignore them.
The Readers Respond
All the readers who responded agreed that her boyfriend was wrong. Since it was all his fault, he should pay the medical bill. However, many also said that they weren’t sure why OP was still with him when he clearly didn’t care about her well-being.
“NTA, but it was irresponsible for you to let this relationship go on so long with someone who clearly doesn’t care about putting your life at risk. I’m not sure if you’ll win – that’s better served for another thread – but I don’t think you’re TA for expecting him to take responsibility for coming to kiss you right after eaten a life threatening allergen.”
Should the Boyfriend Have Given Up Peanuts?
Most of the readers agreed that if he was actually a decent person, he would have given up eating peanuts while in a relationship with OP.
“My SO is not even allergic to coconut, he just doesn’t like it. I ditched my fave coconut scented shampoo because after washing my hair my head smelled like coconut for a few days and even though he didn’t like it he still cuddled with me. There are little compromises you make for your loved ones.”
“Right? What kind of trash partner continues to put their loved one in danger? I’m deathly allergic to shellfish, and very allergic to most seafood. My husband only eats it when I’m out of town and only at a restaurant, never in our home with the risk of contaminating a cooking utensil. It’s really not that hard. NTA, OP dump this guy who doesn’t give a crap about your basic health and proceed with small claims.”
Is Pursuing Legal Action Worth It?
While everybody agreed that OP was right, they also said that it was quite likely futile to pursue any sort of legal action.
“As for pursuing legal action against your BF, it’s probably not going to be worth it. While his failure to warn you put you in danger, you also have a responsibility to minimize your risk. Staying with a person who could accidentally kill you because of his lack of forethought was irresponsible on your part, and reduces his level of culpability. Even so, he has no income and no means to repay you. Even if you win, there’s not much to recoup here, so this will likely cost more than you can hope to recover. NTA but doing this is pointless.”
“So, if OP were to pursue civil action, the BF’s level of culpability would be reduced. Not eliminated, but reduced. Coupled with the fact that BF has no means to pay anyway, OP would be very unlikely to secure a judgement of $5,000 she was seeking, and would be even less likely to actually recover any of that judgement.”
Her Boyfriend is Furious that She Sent Him a Bill for Half the Cost of the Cremation for Their Dog that He Insisted on Doing But Refused to Pay For
The original poster (OP), the girlfriend, had a dog along with her boyfriend. They always split the bills 50/50 for everything, but her boyfriend refused to help pay medical bills for the dog. The dog died, and OP sent half the bill for the cremation to her boyfriend, stating that it was only fair but he doesn’t agree.
Her Boyfriend Got a Job 2 Hours Away So She Takes the Train and Stays One to Two Weeks a Month and He Now Wants Her to Split the Rent and Bills Even Though She Pays for the Train and Groceries
The original poster’s (OP) boyfriend told her that she should be paying for half of his rent and bills since she spends about half her time at his place. But OP says she never chose to have the boyfriend move to a city where life is far too expensive, and that she should not have to pay anything. Who is in the wrong?
She Embarrassed Her Boyfriend By Asking for Separate Bills Instead of Transferring the Money to Him After Like He Asked So He Wouldn’t Look Bad In Front of the Waitress
The original poster(OP), had dinner at a restaurant with her boyfriend. At the end of their anniversary dinner she told the waitress to split the bill. The boyfriend ended up feeling embarrassed because the waitstaff likely assumed he was cheap. Was the OP in the wrong?
She is Furious Because Her Unemployed Boyfriend Refused to Pick Her Up During a Winter Storm and it Took Her Over 3 Hours to Get Home
The original poster (OP) lives in Southwest Ontario, Canada. OP is asking a popular forum if she is wrong to feel like her boyfriend basically abandoned her during a winter storm. Here is her story.
He Intentionally Drove Up the Electricity Bill Because He Wanted to Prove to His Girlfriend that the Old Ugly Fireplace Was Worth Keeping
The original poster (OP) told his girlfriend that she would have to pay the whole electricity bill if she wanted to get rid of his old fireplace which acted as supplemental heating. The girlfriend agreed, but to try and get her to let him keep the fireplace anyway, because he liked it, OP started trying to run up the electricity bill.