She is Treating Her Family to a Paris Vacation and Her Brother’s Girlfriend Thought She Was Invited. She was Outraged When She Found Out She Wasn’t. Was the Sister Wrong to Exclude Her?

She has lived abroad and away from her family for ten years. She wanted to go on a trip with her husband, two children, and her immediate family, including her younger 18-year-old brother and her parents.

She Misses Her Family

family sitting together watching tv, mother, father, son and daughter.
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They haven’t seen each other in a while, and when she comes home for a visit, she feels obligated to meet and catch up with other people as well. She felt this trip would give her more quality time with her family.

They are Going to Paris

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They decided to go to Paris during her brother’s Easter break from school, so everyone coordinated their vacation from work during that time.

Her Brother’s Girlfriend Started Contacting Her

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Her brother mentioned to his girlfriend of around 18 months that the family was visiting Paris together. She started receiving messages from her brother’s girlfriend, who she met maybe twice, about how excited she was for the trip. When she asked her what she meant, the girlfriend said she was excited to be going.

The Girlfriend Invited Herself

teenage boy sitting on couch with laptop and phone

Before saying anything, she texted her brother, asking if he had told his girlfriend she was also coming on the trip. He said no, he had only mentioned to her that the family was going.

She told the Girlfriend She Can’t Come

woman looking at her phone stressed

So she messaged his girlfriend back politely and told her that it was only a family holiday and unfortunately she wouldn’t be coming. However, she’s confident her brother will bring her back a lovely souvenir from his trip.

The Girlfriend Lashed Out

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Her brother’s girlfriend did not handle not coming on the trip well. She sent messages swearing, calling her rich and selfish, and using other obscene language. She said she is family and should also be treated to the trip to Paris.

Should She Be Taking the Girlfriend on the Trip?

woman with hand on forehead looking at her phone

She acknowledges that this girl has been with her brother for over a year and is a steady girlfriend. She is reaching out to the online community to ask if she was wrong to not include her brother’s girlfriend in this vacation and pay her expenses as well?

The Online Community Responds

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One reader commented: “Imagine how fun she would be on the trip. I bet she believes families get shopping sprees, too.”

After reading this comment, she mentioned that she and her husband are settled and like to treat her parents and brother since their family struggled financially in her childhood. She likes to be able to gift them nice things now that she is established, and she and her brother have talked about doing some shopping.

Many readers did not take kindly to this 18-year-old girl’s behavior.

Who the heck invites themselves to a Paris vacation? And swearing at you and calling you names? I’m amazed by the audacity of this 18 years old. She’s showing you who she is. Tell your brother to believe her.”

“She really thinks she’s entitled. OP (the original poster) deserves an apology from her. They’ve only met like, what, twice? Yet she treats her own boyfriend’s sister with name-calling and just blatantly swears at her, even though OP was just being polite. The brother needs to see those texts she sent. Honestly, I would dodge this bullet.”

Is this a Red Flag for the Brother?

“Red Flag anyone? This exactly. She invites herself, and when the situation is explained she starts swearing??? What did she think? Her insulting you would convince you to extend the invitation?”

“Yeah, she seems entitled and immature. But I suppose to an 18 year old, 18 months of dating seems almost like a permanent relationship. She blew up her whole future relationship with you by behaving like an awful, rude, low-class person. Not very wise.”

Many also felt that the sister shouldn’t have been the one to tell his girlfriend that she wasn’t invited, and that it was her brother’s responsibility. 

Brother should have been the one to talk to the girlfriend and tell her nobody invited her.

“Agreed. After the text where he said he didn’t invite her, OP should have replied “Well she thinks she’s invited, so you’d better fix it!”

The popular opinion also seems to be that her brother break off the relationship with this girl.

“I would have a heart to heart with your brother about how you are not an ATM and from this moment on you will not be invite any of his GF on any trip until they are engaged.”

“I would advise OP’s brother to NOT get engaged to this monster. No way would I even try to get to know this awful person let alone pay for her to be with me on vacay.”

What Do You Think?

man with hand on chin, looking up and thinking

Should she change her mind, invite her brother’s girlfriend, and pay for her vacation since they have been together for almost two years? Does that make her almost family?

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