Some people eventually reach a point in life where they are looking for a long-term relationship and hope it leads to marriage. With experience, people learn to see red flags that show a person isn’t right for them and the relationship won’t last.
The following are some signs that men say indicate that a woman isn’t marriage material.
“If you feel stressed by her or the thought of her.”
I remember one time I was going back home to my girl and was feeling anxious about going there. And I still remember thinking “This isn’t what it’s supposed to feel like.”
“If your woman is bringing you more unease than ease in the relationship, it’s time to go. She should be a ray of sunshine, a delight in your life. Not a nuisance or a subtractor of your peace.”
“Right. Always walking on eggshells. Never again.”
“Excellent answer, I broke it off with someone after three years because I realized I was scared of her and her temper. I’m happily married to someone I feel safe around now and it’s amazing.”
“If she brings more war than peace. Offers more problems than solutions. Takes away from your happiness. More of a burden than a blessing.”
2. It’s Always About Her
“If expressing your own feelings inevitably concludes with you having to console her for how your feelings made her feel instead of her being there for you.”
“Gender roles are so strong still, even with modern feminist women, none of us are able to really break them. Last night I had Sunday scaries and was expressing anxiety/stress to my girlfriend about lots of layoffs happening in my industry (tech). The conversation ended with me having to console her and make her feel better about everything. She’s in school still and her industry (dental) hasn’t been affected yet.”
“You deserve a space in your relationship to feel worried, hurt, sad or scared without having to automatically switch to the comforter. If you don’t feel like you can be vulnerable around your partner without them making it about themselves then that isn’t sustainable. You’re a human being. You need comfort and support as much as you give it.”
3. Always Holding Men Accountable But Not Themselves
“I’ve cut off a good number of females for this right here. Some like to disguise it as “holding us accountable” but what it actually does is shift all accountability from the person it is falling on to the one bringing it up.”
“A relationship is a compromise between two adults; not one adult deciding to coddle and carry another’s bull just because of “love”.
4. Treating Others Poorly
“Treating others poorly, definitely! There was a girl in my training class. She was a very good looking German girl, but when we went out there was ALWAYS something wrong with her food. She literally got every meal free, it seemed, because she was so picky about her food.”
5. Not Willing to Compromise
“She (his ex-wife) said compromise means nobody is happy. Guess who is unhappy now.”
6. She Doesn’t Appreciate Anything You Do
“It’s partially caused by the issue you’re responding to, but it’s mostly caused by the fact that guys rarely, if ever, receive compliments or positive affirmations.”
7. Impulsive Behavior
“Specifically financially. Now I know, everyone has the right to spend their money how they see fit I’m not trying to state otherwise. If I’m going to marry someone though, I want that person to be relatively decent with money because we are trying to build a stable life together.”
8. Lack of Effort in the Relationship
“Lack of effort in the initial stages of the relationship. If I have to chase you or work for your attention just for you to show up, that’s disrespectful.”
“This is absolutely true. She should be just as excited to plan things out and go out and do stuff as you are. I understand guys usually need to plan out the first few dates or so, but if she continues to expect you to do everything, it’s not worth sticking around for.”
9. She Has a History of Cheating
“If she cheats on her boyfriend with you, she’ll do the same when you’re the boyfriend.”
“Once a cheater, always a cheater. Could you ever really trust them?”
10. She Keeps Contact with an Ex
“I agree. Not a fan of dating someone who’s close to an ex. FB friends, & friendly terms, sure, but anyone, who keeps an ex close, talks to and interacts with regularly & ongoing, is trouble. You will never have enough room in their lives if they can’t close the doors behind them.”
11. If She’s Not Committed Through Thick and Thin
“If she’s only committed to the fun times. After the initial “get-to-know-each-other” phase, it all boils down to working out the differences and going through the roughs of life. It becomes fairly obvious there.”
“The second is seeing how she acts when you are in a crisis or catches a whiff of it because you will be surprised of the amount of people in a “Long Term Relationship” who bolt for the door or try to monkey branch the moment their SO has an issue.”
12. She Complains a Lot
“If she complains now, it will get ten times worse if you are married. Avoid whiners.”
“A negative attitude: Getting angry at the small things, always having something or someone to complain about.”
13. She’s Obsessed with Social Media
“I prefer that women aren’t really active on social media. It means they have a life and aren’t obsessed with getting attention and validation from strangers.”
The less she posts on social media the higher I think of her.
14. Lack of Respect
“If you tell her that you don’t like her doing something, and she continues to do it regardless without ever even trying to find a compromise, she ain’t it. She will only cause you headaches and fight you on things for the rest of the relationship.”
15. She’s High Maintenance
“She’s high maintenance or financially irresponsible. If it’s a lot of work just to date her, I’m certainly not going to intertwine my life with hers.”
Do you agree these are all dealbreakers? Is there anything else that makes a woman not marriage material?
This post originally appeared on Reddit.
This article was produced by This Mom is On Fire.
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