The original poster (OP) is reaching out to ask the reddit community if he was wrong in this situation. OP’s family gets together for dinner every Sunday. The family rotates each week, so everyone has a turn preparing dinner. The family includes OP (35 years old) and his wife (34), his sister (23) and boyfriend (22), his mom and dad, and his grandmother. OP values Sunday dinners because it’s their time to catch up and spend quality time together besides holidays.
They are an Italian family but live in Canada. His grandmother and mother were born in Italy. OP takes his cooking very seriously, especially when it’s Italian cuisine and his grandmother (Nonna) is eating with them.
On a Sunday when it was OP’s turn to cook, he says he spent all day preparing dinner. He made carbonara, bruschetta, and a seafood platter in red sauce. When the family sat down to eat, his sister’s boyfriend began ‘humming and hawing,’ saying the meal was missing something. The boyfriend says he needs hot sauce and starts walking to the fridge. OP also likes hot sauce and did have some Franks and Sriracha in the fridge. However, OP doesn’t believe in mixing cuisines like that.
So OP stopped the boyfriend and said he would appreciate it if he enjoyed his meal as is. At the very least, he told him he could have some Calabrian chili oil or use dried chili flakes. The boyfriend didn’t understand the big deal and insisted on using the Sriracha sauce. OP continued to decline his request. The boyfriend escalated things by saying he would go to the store and buy his own bottle and return if OP refused. OP told him to go ahead, so the boyfriend left to go to the store and get his hot sauce. At that point, the boyfriend had yet to try that main dish.
In the meantime, the family finished dinner and called it an early night. While everyone was putting on their coat and shoes, the boyfriend returned and became angry to see that everyone had eaten and was leaving.
OP says his sister is on his side. But the situation is causing his sister and her boyfriend of only three months to keep arguing over the matter because her boyfriend believes she should be on his side.
Should OP have just allowed the boyfriend to use Sriracha sauce on the meal he prepared?
Many readers commented that they have partners who also put hot sauce on everything. Even if they disagree, they allow them to do as they please.
I’m English and made shepherds pie for my Mexican husband. He immediately put spicy salsa on it. But annoying but I’m not going to try to stop him.”
“My partner puts hot sauce on EVERYTHING and mixes spices from cuisines all the time. His lunches are a monstrosity of leftovers from the fridge. Does it grind my gears? Yes. Have I learned to be quiet because it’s his food and his preference? Bigger yes.”
Some readers pointed out that OP is already mixing cuisines with the meal that he prepared.
“The mixing cuisine thing is weird to me. Italian is a mix of old world, and new world foods. Tomatoes are not native to Italy. Neither is a lot of “authentic Italian” food.The chili flavored vinegar may have a role in Italian food’s future, or it may not. The point is that mixing cuisine is the silliest argument I’ve ever heard. The bruschetta, and red sauce are already “mixed cuisines”
Many readers also focused on the boyfriend’s behavior.
“In my country it’s impolite to ask the host for something that isn’t already on the table. And especially trying to take something yourself from their fridge. You eat, if you don’t like it you just say you’re full and you thank them for the meal. This guy sounds entitled. And what, everyone was supposed to sit and wait for him while he was at the store and not eat? Honestly, he’d not be a guest in my house again.”
Many readers also felt that both OP and the boyfriend played a part in this disaster of a dinner.
“I think the statement ‘its missing something’ was rude. However OP is the one who escalated it by refusing access to a condiment. Didn’t he say he moved in front of the fridge? This sounds like something a 12 year old might do, not a grown adult!”
What do you think? Should OP have let the boyfriend use the Sriracha sauce? Was the boyfriend right to go to the store and buy his own bottle? Who over reacted in this situation?
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