The original poster (OP) is married to Mike. Mike usually does all the cooking, which works best for their family. OP says she cooks sometimes but its “very few and far between.”
Mike’s Family Does Potlucks
Mike’s family enjoys potlucks where they expect the women to bring different dishes.
She Says She Can’t Cook
OP says she is a good cook but she doesn’t enjoy it so they always just say she can’t cook. She says its never been an issue in the three years they have been married.
Her Daughter Let the Cat Out of the Bag
OP and her husband have a 5 year-old daughter who mentioned to the sister-in-law that mommy makes the best seafood casserole.
The Sister-in-Law Confronted OP’s Husband
He told his sister that OP doesn’t enjoy cooking so she doesn’t do it often and doesn’t want to cook for family parties.
Her Sister-in-Law Told Everyone
Her sister-in-law told OP’s mother-in-law and all the women in Mike’s family.
They Started Texting OP
The women started texting OP and calling her selfish for letting them do all the work at family parties.
She Refused to Come
They continued to argue and so OP told them they wouldn’t be coming to the Easter party and she would keep her daughter home as well.
She Argued with Her Mother-in-Law
Her mother-in-law said she’s being a jerk for not allowing her daughter to attend, calling her manipulative and said she should have just brought a dish and sucked it up like everybody else.
OP’s Husband is Staying Quiet
Her husband said he’s staying out of it but understand’s her position. He did suggest she cook this one time and make peace at Easter but she refused.
Update: He Fought With His Mother
OP’s husband had an argument with his mother and said they wouldn’t come to another family event unless everyone apologized for attacking OP.
The Readers Respond
Many readers believe that all parties are wrong and have contributed to this mess.
“ESH (everyone sucks) OP and her husband for not bringing anything to potlucks. Husbands family for the weird competitive sexist potlucks, and for only being mad at OP and not also her husband for not bringing a dish. And the husband again for letting op take all of the blame and not standing up for her on the sexism thing.”
Is OP Being Unreasonable?
One reader questioned “Yeah, so neither of them will cook but expect everyone else to do it. How do you think they feel?”
Another responded “That’s also complete nonsense. A casserole for 2 or 12 is not significantly different prep or cooking time. That’s why I always prepare two at once! One to eat and one for the freezer for the next time I don’t want to make dinner or end up needing something for a potluck.”
“Totally agree! They’ve been freeloading at the potlucks for years. She does cook but ‘doesn’t wanna’ for the family, while has no problem partaking of the fruits of their labor.”
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