The original poster (OP) and his girlfriend got married when they were young. His wife was 19, and they have five children and counting. She never got a chance to finish high school, and now she finally managed to obtain her GED. Her husband, the OP, said that this was nothing special or impressive, and that she shouldn’t be proud of herself. Is he wrong?
OP and Wife Got Married Young
OP, a 28 year-old male, and his wife, a 26 year-old female, have now been married for close to seven years.
They Prioritzed Having a Family
As soon as they got married, OP and his wife started having kids. They have a six year old boy, a four year old boy, a three-year old female, and fraternal twins They have a total of five kids.
His Wife Never Graduated High School
OP and his wife got married before she got the chance to graduate high school, and due to this, as well as having their first child, the wife was never able to graduate high school.
OP Got a Job Thanks to His Father
While the wife was at home looking after the children, OP was at work. Luckily for him, his father owned a business and handed him an easy job that he didn’t have to interview for. This is how OP was able to support his wife and children. This job involved OP traveling a lot, which meant that the wife had to stay home to look after the kids more or less all of the time.
OP’s Wife Was Bedridden After the Twins Were Born
After the fraternal twins were born, which are the youngest children, his wife was ill and bedridden. She was bedridden for much longer than the doctors had anticipated. This left her extremely bored and looking for something to do.
Her Mother Informed His Wife About GED Testing
Seeing as the wife was in bed and was to stay there for the next several weeks, she was looking for something to do. Since she had never graduated high school, once her mother told her that there was a GED testing center nearby and that there was about one test happening per week, she started thinking about getting her GED, which is a high school equivalent diploma.
OP’s Wife Studied for Her GED While in Bed
While she was bedridden, the wife used every free minute to study for her GED. She seemed to be doing quite well.
OP’s Wife Was Mastering the Material Alongside Everyday Life
Once the wife was no longer bedridden, she still planned to get her GED. So, besides looking after her kids and dropping them off at their daily activities, taking care of the household, and more, she also kept studying. Interestingly enough, OP mentioned that getting the GED to him means nothing at all and then it probably wouldn’t benefit her in terms of getting a career.
OP’s Wife Passed the Test and Obtained Her GED
In spite of OP’s protests, the wife proceeded to do her GED test anyway. Of course, the wife, after having studied so much, passed her GED with flying colors. She now had her high school equivalent diploma.
OP Barely Acknowledged the Success
The wife was extremely pleased and proud of herself for being able to pass this test, and she promptly went to OP to inform him. Although the wife was looking for a bit of congratulations and encouragement, OP responded with nothing of the sort. He was in the middle of answering an email and barely looked up when she told him about the job well done.
OP Told His Wife That It Was No Big Deal
OP actually went so far as to tell his wife that it wasn’t any big deal at all. OP told his wife that she passed a super easy test and that it was really nothing to be proud of.
OP’s Wife Got Very Upset at OP’s Lack of Praise or Enthusiasm
The wife then got extremely upset at OP’s lack of enthusiasm and acknowledgment of her accomplishment. The wife was very proud, but OP didn’t seem to care at all. Now, OP said that although getting the GED was a good thing, he just really didn’t see any value in it. At the end of the thread, OP was left wondering whether he was in the wrong.
The Readers Respond
The readers responded, and the majority of them completely agree that OP was totally wrong. OP should have supported his wife throughout the whole process of getting her GED, and once she managed to pass the test, he should have been extremely supportive and congratulatory. The bottom line is that OP was not at all supportive of his wife, and this makes him guilty of being the AH.
“YTA. Your a major AH. Your wife is trying to look after five children and found the time to get her GED. Why don’t you let her go out of town for a week and see how hard it is to look after five small children . Would it have killed you to get up hug her and tell her how proud you of her? Maybe take her out to dinner one night to celebrate? Wow. I hope this isn’t indicative the respect you give her the rest of the time.”
“I’m honestly so sad for this woman. Pregnant at 19, husband gets a job from daddy, she dedicates herself to her kids. After a difficult birth she takes some time to work on something important to her. Husband goes out of his way to belittle her. YTAYTAYTAYTA.”
“YTA OP… and you seems creepy and controlling towards your wife…”
Was it OP’s Fault She Never Graduated in the First Place?
Not only does it seem as though OP was not at all supportive towards his wife, but what many readers note is that it was completely his fault that she never graduated high school in the first place. It’s because she married him and got pregnant that she was never able to get her diploma.
“Why wasn’t she able to graduate high school – late at 19 btw, second or potentially third year senior at that age – and how old was she when they started dating.”
“Sounds like he kept her from graduating to be honest.”
“He’s even more TA based on the fact that the reason his wife couldn’t get her GED was because she got MARRIED at 19 and PREGNANT at 20!!!!”
Does OP Even Love His Wife or Is He an Abuser?
Many of the readers go on to note that OP really doesn’t seem to love or respect wife at all, and that he’s really more of a user and abuser than anything else. The bottom line is that the consensus is that if possible, the wife should absolutely leave OP.
“I bet that’s why he tried to minimize her accomplishment. It’s one of the many ways abusers keep their victims down.”
“definitely YTA and feel sorry for your wife and hope she wises up and leaves you.”
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Some may think smashing cake into each others faces, getting it in their eyes, hair and nose, is a hilarious and memorable moment at their wedding. But it isn’t viewed as a fun tradition by everyone. The original poster (OP) is one of those brides who isn’t in to cake smashing. This is a story of how a cake smash caused one of the shortest marriages ever to collapse.
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