She Lost Her Soulmate to Cancer and He Left Her Most of His Money. The In-Laws Think They Deserved More and She Feels Guilty. Should She Give Them Some of Her Inheritance?

Maintaining relationships can be challenging, and nothing drives a wrench between people faster than money. This widow is grieving the loss of the love of her life and dealing with the guilt of his financial decisions. This is her story.

Dealing with a Loss

sick husband lying on couch and wife looks over

Her soulmate was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer at the age of 32. Sadly, he passed away less than two years after the diagnosis. She was the primary caregiver during his illness and ended up quitting her job to care for him full-time for the last ten months of his life. She says his treatment was complicated, and keeping him home required around-the-clock care. It was too much for his parents to manage, so she had to hire a nurse when she wasn’t there.

She Dedicated Herself to His Care

husband sick in hospital bed while wife holds his hand

She says she loved him with her entire soul, so becoming his caregiver full-time was easy for her. His well-being became her main priority in life. They were living with his parents until he moved to hospice care. They hadn’t maintained any friendships in their city, and she had no family other than her in-laws in their hometown.

She was Uncomfortable Talking About Money

sick husband in hospital, wife holding his hand while his eyes are closed

She didn’t like talking about his will and how he wanted to distribute his money from his life insurance policy. She says he comes from a wealthier family than she does. Also, since they weren’t married, she worried his family would think she manipulated him to get money. This is why she asked him to make these financial decisions by himself. He said his family would never think she was after his money, but she still wanted to be left out of his decision on how to distribute his money. 

After His Death

sick husband lying down with eyes closed while wife has head on his chest.

After his death, she found herself alone, without a job, a house, or a car. She was left with nothing but a dog and an urn.  

The Will

last will and testament being signed

In his Last Will and Testament, he had decided to leave her 60% of his money and 10% to each of his 4 siblings. He didn’t give anything to his parents. He appreciated that she had left her job to care for him full-time and had no home or family nearby. He knew she would need money to help build her life back up.

His Plan for Her Future

woman reading a document

He wanted her to repay her student loan, return to school and get another degree. He also wanted her to buy another home so she wouldn’t have to look for a place to rent.

His Sister Isn’t Happy

woman reading documents looking very serious

He had assigned his sister as executor of his will. She was surprised that her brother hadn’t left any money for their parents. She asked her if she would be willing to give his parents money from her share since he had left them nothing. Meanwhile, he said he was confident that everyone in the family would understand and no one would complain.

She said No

two women talking seriously over coffee

She told his sister she wouldn’t give her parents any money because she had asked him, and he said the money was meant to be all hers. She loves his parents, but he was right. When he was gone, she found herself unable to work or think. She definitely needed the money to get back on her feet.

She Feels Guilty

woman walking alone down the street looking sad

His sister isn’t thinking highly of her anymore. In fact, she thinks she’s being a jerk for not sharing her newfound wealth with her parents. She feels guilty for refusing but tries reassuring herself that she is doing what he wanted.

She Still Has Doubts

woman thinking while looking over the balcony

She is reaching out to the online community to ask if she should give the parents some of her inheritance. The top-voted response said she definitely wasn’t wrong and should look after herself.

“I am so sorry for your loss of your soulmate. If possible, get an estate lawyer to monitor the distribution. An executor is not supposed to follow anything but the intent and will of the deceased. Not saying the sister will do anything wrong, but watch your own back on this one.”

Several readers were surprised to hear that the executor sister was also a lawyer and she should behave more professionally.

“She’s supposed to follow the will and not to suggest you give anything to anyone else. I’d report her to the lawyers board.”

“What she did is highly unethical. Especially using her undue influence to install herself as executor.”

“Conflict of interests and nepotism are highly unethical. OPs partner could have used her to get a reference for an estate lawyer, but having her as the lawyer and executor when she’s clearly biased was very poor judgement.”

What do you think? Should she give some of the money she inherited from her deceased boyfriend to his parents? Or should she honor his wishes and use it to rebuild her life?

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This post originally appeared on This Mom is On Fire