The original poster (OP) has been with his girlfriend for 8 years, and they have lived together for 4 years. He is reaching out to the online community to see how he should handle his current problem with his girlfriend.
His Girlfriend is Artistic
He admits that his girlfriend is the artsy type who always has a personal project she’s working on and tends to get lost in her own world. He understands her personality, but they have an ongoing problem: gift-giving.
She Gave Him a Birthday Gift
They celebrated his birthday last weekend. As is common with couples, they give each other gifts on each other’s birthdays. However, this birthday was different because she purchased a gift that OP would likely never use.
The Gift Was Unusual
She bought him a pencil lengthier as a gift. He doesn’t use pencils, and the lengthier she purchased doesn’t even fit a typical No.2. It’s specifically for colored pencils. He isn’t an artist, so obviously, he doesn’t color.
He Threw it Away
When his girlfriend asked him if he liked the present, he quietly walked outside and tossed it in the trash. He was clearly tired of dealing with her selfish gift-giving antics.
She Was Angry
She became upset, called him a jerk for what he did, and said he should have at least tried to use it.
She Always Uses the Gifts Herself
He says his girlfriend has been doing this since they started living together. She has repeatedly been gifting him things that she likes and ultimately ends up using herself. He says she bought him Sailor Moon stickers last year, a show that he doesn’t watch or like. She ended up using the stickers herself. She also purchased a jewelry box for him once, but he doesn’t wear jewelry. So she has been using the box herself.
She Complained to Family
He says it’s been a few days, and his girlfriend is still upset. She even complained to the parents on both sides, who scolded him for throwing her gift in the garbage.
She Admitted She Does it Intentionally
He says she admitted that she knew he would hate the gift and planned on using it herself in a few days. Apparently, she shared this information with the parents but he is still getting blamed for his actions.
He says they have talked about this problem more than once. His girlfriend admitted that she intentionally buys him things she wants for herself to show that she ‘tried’ to get him something.
She Refused His Suggestions
He asked her if it would be helpful if he gave her a wish list. She refused and said she would never look at it. True to her word, she ignored the one he sent her. However, she sends him a wish list, and he buys her gifts from it.
Did He Make a Mistake?
He is reaching out to the online community to ask if he made a mistake by throwing out her gift in frustration.
The Readers Respond
Many readers said he should be petty and buy her things that he would like for himself to give her a taste of her own medicine.
“So what do you get yourself to use on her birthdays?” Another reader agreed with this comment and said, “Agreed, if OP doesn’t consider this a dealbreaker, this is the way to handle gifts going forward. At least until she realizes how this feels.”
“Seriously, she is buying you gifts for herself. She makes a habit of this. Have you turned it around on her yet? For the next gift you give her, get her something you really want (and she won’t want). When she gets upset about that, explain that you thought that was how your relationship worked since she buys things she wants when you get a gift.”
“Sadly seems OP gets a Wishlist from her that he buys things for her from. I agree he could go this petty and definitely needs to if this isn’t his dealbreaker.”
“I wouldn’t even bother with that extra step. I’d just outright buy myself something on their birthday and give them absolutely nothing.”
Should He Break Up with Her?
Others say that this act of selfishness isn’t worth staying in the relationship. Rather than return the pettiness, break up with her.
“It’s simpler to just end the relationship with someone this selfish rather than sinking to their petty level.”
“I can see the feelings of retribution this may bring, but it’s much better to not be in a relationship where you feel you have to out-manipulate each other.”
“Winning some petty game of bad gift-giving isn’t worth sticking around in a terribly 1-sided relationship.”
“If your partner can’t listen to your words and has to literally be hurt by the same type of action to have a chance at understanding, there’s a huge problem. I’m not even that jaded, lol. I have a host of issues of my own, but even I can see the toxicity of having to show someone how something feels to you to make them understand. Especially in circumstances where your spoken feelings have been repeated, wish lists handed out, etc.”
“What the heck are you doing with someone so incredibly selfish, entitled, and unkind?”
“I mean, honestly, why play games at this point. Just get out. “
The Neighborhood Kids Added Handprints and Initials to the Wet Cement for His New Sidewalk. When He Smoothed it Over an Angry Mom Said He Ruined Memories. Was He Wrong?
The original poster (OP) wanted to prepare his outdoor area so that he could enjoy it better for the summer. But it resulted in him having an altercation with some neighbors and he is reaching out to the online community to see if he made a mistake.
He Prepared Authentic Italian Food for the Sunday Family Dinner. His Sister’s Boyfriend Wanted to Pour Hot Sauce on it. He Refused So the Boyfriend Left the Party to Buy His Own. Was He Wrong?
The original poster (OP) is reaching out to ask the reddit community if he was wrong in this situation. OP’s family gets together for dinner every Sunday. The family rotates each week, so everyone has a turn preparing dinner. The family includes OP (35 years old) and his wife (34), his sister (23) and boyfriend (22), his mom and dad, and his grandmother.
They are Having a Dry Wedding and Only Serving Water. There is a Wide Selection of Food and Kids are Invited But Will They Still Look Cheap?
A couple is planning their wedding for later this year. They come from large families, so the guests will be between 100 and 150. The bride is reaching out to the online community with a dilemma she and her husband-to-be are having.
Her Daughter Can’t Afford the Rent Anymore and Asked to Move Back Home. She is Also Charging Her Daughter Rent so Now Her Daughter is Sharing a Place with Sketchy People. Should She Help Her Daughter?
It’s usually bittersweet when the firstborn becomes independent and moves out of the house. Many children from loving families may feel like their parents have their back though if they are ever in a tough spot. But for some parents, tough love takes over, and once kids leave the nest, they say you have to keep flying.
He Lied to His Wife that He Couldn’t Go on Vacation With Her and Her Family Because of a Work Trip But it Was Only for 2 Days. He Doesn’t Like Her Family. Was He Wrong For Lying?
His wife and her family had a 5-day family vacation planned in July. They booked an Airbnb for everyone, including his wife, her siblings, their spouses, and her parents. He had a work trip to attend to at the same time as the vacation. However, it was only two days long, so technically, he could have gone to the last few days of the vacation but opted not to.