Her Doctor Told Her to Lose Weight. Her Boyfriend Has Been Making Her Healthy Meals. He Found Out She was Sneaking Treats and Told Her to Go to the Gym. She Says He’s Fat Shaming. Is She Right?

The Backstory

His doctor told the original poster (OP) two years ago that he needed to lose weight because he was pre-diabetic and at high risk of developing cardiovascular disease because of his high BMI level. OP worked at the gym five days a week until he became physically fit. During his weight-loss journey, OP met his girlfriend at the gym. After a few dates, they became exclusive and are in a good relationship.

However, even though OP continued going to the gym, his girlfriend stopped. OP said his girlfriend used to be a rock climber, but she quit all forms of physical activity. OP says he didn’t mention her lack of activity at the beginning of the relationship, but she was slowly gaining weight. Eventually, her doctor told her she needed to lose weight. OP encouraged her to lose weight, but she didn’t try.

OP’s girlfriend asked him to help her eat healthier so she could get her weight under control. So OP started making healthy meals for his girlfriend. OP says this took up much of his time as he tried to make his meals as healthy and delicious as possible and constantly tried new recipes to help her. He used to simply put chicken in the air fryer for himself in batches and eat that every day, but she didn’t like that, so he changed his meals for her.

She Confessed to Cheating

Despite all his efforts, she wasn’t losing any weight. She promised OP that she wasn’t eating anything extra and going to the gym more frequently. However, while looking in a drawer for something, OP found wrappers and chocolates. When he confronted her, she confessed that she had been eating sweets the entire time and would eat from outside while she was at work.
OP got frustrated and told her to go to the gym. She started crying and said he was fat shaming her. OP is frustrated and says he can’t help her if she’s eating jars of Nutella, and she needs to help herself.

The Readers Comment

Readers discuss whether OP is fat shaming or the girlfriend is gaslighting.”She lied to him. He put in a lot of effort because of those lies. Her hidden actions negated his efforts. Healthy relationships are not built on lies. She can decide her physical health decisions for herself. But to lead him on and create a fundamental dishonesty and carry it on for months while he puts in huge amounts of time for her under a false premise is an indication she’s not relationship ready and won’t be a good, open, and honest partner.Find someone with more integrity.”

“Yeah this. I said the same thing in my previous comment. He put in all this effort for her at his own expense. She saw him prepping food for HER and let it continue for months while she continued her facade and even had the cheek to constantly tell him she isn’t losing weight. Not only that when she got caught. The first thing she did was to gaslight him for fat shaming instead of being apologetic.”

Some readers think OP tried her best and some are wondering if there is a deeper reason why his girlfriend gave up on her health after meeting him.

“People don’t usually go from super active to sedentary and binge eating for fun. What happened to her? Did she get hurt? Was there a trauma that triggered an eating disorder? (Binge eating is also an eating disorder.) Food addiction is a real thing and nearly impossible to address without accounting for the underlying psychological aspects. Going to the gym mote won’t fix that.”

OP responded back to this inquiry:

“I don’t honestly know. In a weird way, she just gradually waned off and just yeah. It was after we got into a relationship but I couldn’t tell you what happened. The relationship itself is wonderful, we barely ever fight and she’s awesome in basically every way.”

OP also added: “Her work didn’t change but I got a promotion at work (I work at a law-firm in New York) and that’s been keeping me slightly busier but that was only 4 months ago. This has been going on for a year and a half now.”

As OP mentioned that he is engaged to his girlfriend, one reader added:

“There’s a thing called relationship belly. There’s even studies for it. Some people in content relationships gain weight and reduce or stop physical activity. They no longer feel the need to try that hard and let themselves go a bit. There doesn’t have to be mental illness as the root cause of everything.”

Some readers feel that with his girlfriend being dishonest, OP should re-evaluate the relationship and consider breaking things off. Others say she may be depressed and needs professional help.

What do you think? Is OP fat shaming his girlfriend? Should he stop telling her to go to the gym and accept her weight and unhealthy habits? Or should he break up with her for lying and deceiving him?

This article was produced by This Mom is On Fire.

This post originally appeared on Reddit.

Feature Image Credit: © pixelshot via canva.com