His doctor told the original poster (OP) two years ago that he needed to lose weight because he was pre-diabetic and at high risk of developing cardiovascular disease because of his high BMI level. Now his once fit girlfriend is in the same position and he’s trying to help her.
He Exercised at a Gym Regularly
OP worked at the gym five days a week until he became physically fit.
He Met His Girlfriend
During his weight-loss journey, OP met his girlfriend at the gym. After a few dates, they became exclusive and are in a good relationship.
His Girlfriend Stopped Exercising
However, even though OP continued going to the gym, his girlfriend stopped. OP said his girlfriend used to be a rock climber, but she quit all forms of physical activity.
He Didn’t Mention Anything to Her Even Though it Bothered Him
OP says he didn’t mention her lack of activity at the beginning of the relationship, but she was slowly gaining weight.
The Doctor Told Her to Lose Weight
Eventually, her doctor told her she needed to lose weight. OP encouraged her to lose weight, but she didn’t try.
She Asked Him to Help Her Eat Healthier
OP’s girlfriend asked him to help her eat healthier so she could get her weight under control.
He Made Healthy Meals
So OP started making healthy meals for his girlfriend. OP says this took up much of his time as he tried to make his meals as healthy and delicious as possible and constantly tried new recipes to help her.
She Didn’t Like the Meals He Made for Himself
He used to simply put chicken in the air fryer for himself in batches and eat that every day, but she didn’t like that, so he changed his meals for her.
She Wasn’t Losing Weight
Despite all his efforts, she wasn’t losing any weight. She promised OP that she wasn’t eating anything extra and was going to the gym more frequently.
He Found Her Treats
However, while looking in a drawer for something, OP found wrappers and chocolates.
He Confronted Her
When he confronted her, she confessed that she had been eating sweets the entire time and would eat from outside while she was at work.
He Was Frustrated
OP got frustrated and told her to go to the gym.
She Says He’s Fat Shaming
She started crying and said he was fat shaming her.
OP Says He Can’t Help Her
OP is frustrated and says he can’t help her if she’s eating jars of Nutella, and she needs to help herself.
The Readers Comment
OP had the readers full support. Everyone who commented recognized OP’s efforts and felt badly that he was basically scammed by his girlfriend.
“He put in all this effort for her at his own expense. She saw him prepping food for HER and let it continue for months while she continued her facade and even had the cheek to constantly tell him she isn’t losing weight. Not only that when she got caught. The first thing she did was to gaslight him for fat shaming instead of being apologetic.”
Is He Fat Shaming or is She Gaslighting?
Readers discuss whether OP is fat shaming or the girlfriend is gaslighting.
“She lied to him. He put in a lot of effort because of those lies. Her hidden actions negated his efforts. Healthy relationships are not built on lies. She can decide her physical health decisions for herself. But to lead him on and create a fundamental dishonesty and carry it on for months while he puts in huge amounts of time for her under a false premise is an indication she’s not relationship ready and won’t be a good, open, and honest partner. Find someone with more integrity.”
Did Something Else Happen to Her?
Some readers think OP tried his best and some are wondering if there is a deeper reason why his girlfriend gave up on her health after meeting him.
“People don’t usually go from super active to sedentary and binge eating for fun. What happened to her? Did she get hurt? Was there a trauma that triggered an eating disorder? (Binge eating is also an eating disorder.) Food addiction is a real thing and nearly impossible to address without accounting for the underlying psychological aspects. Going to the gym mote won’t fix that.”
OP responded back to this inquiry:
“I don’t honestly know. In a weird way, she just gradually waned off and just yeah. It was after we got into a relationship but I couldn’t tell you what happened. The relationship itself is wonderful, we barely ever fight and she’s awesome in basically every way.”
OP also added: “Her work didn’t change but I got a promotion at work (I work at a law-firm in New York) and that’s been keeping me slightly busier but that was only 4 months ago. This has been going on for a year and a half now.”
Is This Grounds for Breaking Up?
Some readers feel that with his girlfriend being dishonest, OP should re-evaluate the relationship and consider breaking things off. Others say she may be depressed and needs professional help.
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Source of original article.