The original poster’s (OP) wife passed away at age 51 from a car accident. He claims he was in “deep mourning” for about a year after her death but was able to meet a new girlfriend (he refers to her as ‘C’) shortly after.
He Wants to Spend His Life With Her
OP says he loves that she’s intelligent (3 Ivy League degrees), funny, and a great cook.
She is on the Heavier Side
OP says his girlfriend is on the heavier side, which he only mentioned because it’s relevant to the story.
He Has Two Children
OP has two children ages 25, who he refers to as ‘E’ and a 19 year-old who he calls ‘A’. He told his kids about his new girlfriend before he introduced them in the summer (he met her in January).
His Younger Daughter Wasn’t Friendly
His girlfriend got along great with his 25 year-old but says his younger one, A, was “very very standoffish.”
He Tried to Talk to His Daughter
After they met his girlfriend, he tried to ask his daughter if something was wrong but she denied there was an issue. His older child E made a few attempts to talk to her but OP says they were rudely rejected.
He Told His Daughter to Be Nice at Thanksgiving Dinner
OP asked his younger daughter to be polite during the meal because he says she has always been rude with his girlfriend in her interactions. He says his girlfriend is still very gracious in return.
His Daughter Called His Girlfriend Fat
Initially the dinner was going well. But when his girlfriend reached for a third helping of mashed potatoes, his daughter said “Don’t you think you’ve eaten enough, you fat pig?”
He Was Furious
His girlfriend immediately began crying and ran into the bedroom. He became angry and told his daughter to get out.
He Messaged His Daughter
He sent his daughter a text message telling her he would no longer pay her tuition unless she apologizes to his girlfriend and his girlfriend accepts her apology.
He Cancelled Her Tuition
OP says his daughter must have assumed he was bluffing because she instead “doubled down” on her behavior during dinner. Afterwards OP logged into her university’s tuition payment website and cancelled the tuition payment for next semester. He then sent his daughter the screenshots.
His Daughter Called Crying
She called him crying and begging him to reconsider but OP told her his mind was made up.
The Readers Respond
Many readers commented that his children, especially the daughter who is acting out, are still mourning over the loss of their mother. OP isn’t being sympathetic to this fact at all.
“A is probably still deep in mourning for her mother. You’ve managed to put your grief behind you, but the process is much slower for some people. Seeing C in her mother’s place at Thanksgiving was probably very hard on your daughter. That doesn’t excuse her rudeness, but it might explain it.
Secondly, you’ve made your daughter’s tuition dependant on C accepting her apology. As the fees are something between you and your daughter that’s not appropriate especially as C seems to be the issue here.”
She Feels Like She’s Losing Two Parents
Another reader who was in a similar situation to A pleads with OP to think from the perspective of his daughter.
“Please understand how truly terrifying it is to be a teenager, lose one parent, and then have your only remaining parent meet someone else really fast and suddenly make that new person’s needs and happiness a priority over your own.”
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