The original poster (OP) was due to be the best man at his brother’s wedding, and his wife would attend the wedding with him. But the stand his sister-in-law and brother decided to take on his wife’s attendance left this best man in shock.
His Wife is Disabled
Unfortunately, his wife has some injuries that make her slow to respond and understand what others are saying. She also sometimes needs help with her food, like cutting it into smaller pieces. OP lovingly says she is still an intelligent and capable person.
Young Kids Weren’t Invited
The wedding was for 12 years and older because they didn’t want to deal with toddlers. But they rented a venue nearby with a professional babysitter if parents wanted to drop their kids there.
They Both Attended the Rehearsal Dinner
OP and his wife attended the rehearsal dinner. At the end of the dinner his sister-in-law pulled him aside to discuss something with him.
She Told Him About the Second Venue
After the dinner, his sister-in-law-to-be told OP about the second venue. She asked if his wife had any particular food preferences and they would order extra food for her there.
He Was Confused
OP was confused and told her they already gave their meal choices.
She Wanted His Wife at the Second Venue
She said OP’s wife was better suited for the second venue.
He Was in Shock
OP says he just stared at her in disbelief. He asked her if she was seriously telling him to leave his wife with a babysitter.
She Said He Would Have More Fun Without His Wife
She said it wasn’t like that and they were just looking out for his wife. If she went to the second venue, OP wouldn’t have to worry about feeding her and can have fun at the wedding.
He Was Furious
He was furious and couldn’t believe she would even suggest his wife not attend.
He Confronted His Brother
His brother came over and OP told him he couldn’t believe that his wife-to-be had told him to leave his wife with a babysitter. But his brother sided with his wife-to-be and said it was for the best and he could always go to the second venue and check on her.
He Refused to Be the Best Man
OP told his brother that he didn’t appreciate how his wife was being treated and that he was dropping out as Best Man.
His Parents Said He Should Attend
Some people believed he was right to be angry, including his parents. However, although they disagreed with what the bride and groom said, the parents said its ultimately the bride and groom’s choice, and he needed to “get over his ego and come to the wedding.”
OP Didn’t Go
He heard after that one of the groomsmen stepped in as Best Man and gave a speech.
His Brother and Sister-in-Law Sent Him Messages
His brother sent him a text message saying that he expected better of him. OP replied back that he expected better of his brother. His sister-in-law sent a long text message saying that he ruined their big day on purpose and made them look bad.
The Readers Respond
Readers who responded were not impressed with the behavior of the bride and groom. Thousands of readers responded in disbelief that the OP’s family would act this way.
“The ableism and infantilizing of your wife from your SIL and brother is disgusting and beyond AH behaviour.”
The Bride and Groom Are Acting Like Victims
“And then SiL and OP’s brother had the audacity to try to make THEMSELVES out to be the victims in this. It’s absolutely vile.”
The Parents Were Disappointing
Many believed the parent’s response was also very disappointing.
“Not to mention his parents saying “we don’t agree but get over your ego.” The whole family sucks (except OP) NTA OP, keep doing what you’re doing.”
In Sickness and in Health?
After just taking vows to stay with each other in sickness and in health, some readers wonder how they can do what they did.
One reader had the best comeback for the bride and groom:
“Yeah, OP and his wife are definitely NTA in this and everyone else in that family is absolutely horrid. I would have thrown the freaking vows in their face. “I didn’t realize that in sickness and in health meant so little to you, my family.” Then stare them all right in the eyes and go “And I hope you have as much love for your spouse as I do for my wife as this just shows to me that if even the slightest inconvenience heads your way, they’ll leave you with a ‘sitter’ while they go have some fun.”
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