The original poster (OP) is part of a group of seven women who met in university and continue to keep in touch. Scheduling get togethers is usually challenging, especially when many of them have children. But even when they do get together as a group, OP has one hang up that she can’t get past.
She is Childfree
OP is childfree, one friend is childless, two are pregnant with their first and three others have kids.
They Rarely Meet as a Group
OP says she’s seen them all maybe twice last year even though everyone lives in the same city.
She Likes to Unwind When They Meet
Whenever the women do get together, OP wants to have a glass of wine and talk freely.
Someone Always Brings a Child
OP says every time someone asks to meet and they finally find a common date that works, someone always ends up bringing a child or children.
Nobody Ever Says No
OP says its usually one of two moms who always say yes because they are often the ones guilty of bringing their kids as well.
They Have Husbands at Home
OP says all three women who have children also have husbands at home who can watch them.
They All Have Grandparents Who Can Help
She says they all have grandparents from both sides who can also help babysit if they scheduled their evening properly.
Why Do They Come With Kids Still?
Its confusing to OP as to why some of her friends still can’t find babysitters for the one evening they can finally get together when they have husbands and grandparents depend on.
OP Waits to Respond Now
OP says she doesn’t respond to the meet up until they have set a time and place. If someone asks if they can bring kids, then she responds and says she can’t make it.
She Opts for Smaller Groups
She prefers to hang out with the ladies in smaller groups instead or one-on-one.
They Planned a Night Out and a Child Showed Up
Everyone finally agreed to get together for a wine and BBQ night. No one asked to bring kids so OP accepted the invitation. But one of the moms came with a child.
She Was Annoyed
OP says she didn’t hide her annoyance but didn’t say anything when one of the women asked her what was wrong. She left after 30 minutes as the entire time was spent trying to entertain the child instead of having adult conversation.
The Friends Figured it Out
The women must have talked about it after OP left so abruptly and realized there was a pattern and that she doesn’t like having children present at their gatherings.
OP Received Messages
OP received text messages from a few of the women in the group. Some called her a jerk, other said they were annoyed that she left and one mom said she totally understood and would like to meet up later in the week for a proper wine night.
She Doesn’t Hate Kids
OP says she doesn’t hate kids and actually works with them everyday. She just doesn’t want to spend her time off entertaining kids when she wants to relax with friends.
The Readers Respond
Most of the readers feel that OP is not at fault here. They completely understand that if you are planning a wine night, then that is unlikely to include children.
“I’d be angry if someone brought their kids to a night out. If I’ve sorted a sitter I don’t want to see any kids.”
“This! Disrespectful to the friends that made arrangements for their kids to not be at WINE NIGHT.”
She Could Communicate Better
A few readers thought her actions were too passive aggressive and she should have been more open about her feelings of having children at their gatherings.
“YTA for not communicating honestly with your friends on why you were bothered instead of being passive aggressive about it. I’d be annoyed, too, if someone always brought their kids, but I’d at least tell them why.”
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