The original poster’s (OP) has found herself in a dilemma that normally wouldn’t be if she had a better relationship with her brother and sister-in-law. The original poster may have burned some bridges but she certainly received the redemption she deserved.
She Isn’t Close With Her Brother
She says that she has never really had a solid relationship with her brother, partly due to their ten-year age difference. They never spent much time together and he moved out of the house while she was quite young.
Her Brother is Getting Married
Her brother is planning a wedding with his fiancé Sarah, who he has been engaged to for two years. Sarah asked OP to be a bridesmaid.
OP Has Spent a Lot of Money Already
For the two years they have been engaged, OP has spent thousands of dollars on group outings to parties, lunches, dinners, clothes for events, etc. She also saved $800 to purchase her bridesmaids dress.
Sarah Gave OP Shocking News
Sarah recently became close with her brother’s wife Becky. So close that she threw OP a curveball by telling her she no longer wanted her to be a bridesmaid and that Becky would take her place.
It Broke Her Heart
She was upset about being replaced but told her to go ahead since it’s her wedding.
Sarah and OP Argued Over the Bridesmaid Dress
She went to her brother’s house to pick up her bridesmaid’s dress to see if she could return it. But Sarah was appalled and told OP that Becky was going to wear the dress since she was the same size. OP told her that would be fine but they would have to pay her $800. Sarah said that Becky couldn’t afford the dress and that OP should be nice and let her use it for the wedding. She told OP she could keep the dress after that.
OP Refused to Give Her the Dress
OP told Sarah she isn’t giving the dress away for free and wasn’t going to ever use it again after the wedding. OP ended up leaving with the dress.
They Offered Her a New Role
Her brother and Sarah tried to compromise with OP and said she could be the ‘assistant flower girl.’ She was offended by the offer and refused. They then offered her $250 for the dress and she refused and returned it for a full refund.
She Told Them Off
OP told them she understands its their wedding but they were being very disrespectful to her and she told them she wasn’t going to come to the wedding.
She Was Offered a Trip
OP’s coworker had an extra round trip plane ticket to go to Miami that she would sell OP for half price plus half of the hotel room and they would hang out together. But the trip is during her brother’s wedding. OP is questioning if she would be an a**hole if she went to Miami instead of her brother’s wedding.
The Readers Respond
Readers overwhelmingly (42,000 upvotes) responded that she go to Miami. “Go to Miami. A wedding is not an event where a soon-to-be SIL and your own brother cr*p all over you and you smile and take it.”
Another reader followed up with “A 26 year-old assistant flower girl? Really? How insulting. OP, one of the nice things about declining an invitation is that you need not give a gift. A card of congratulations is all etiquette requires. And I think you’ve already overspent (both literally and emotionally) on this wedding.”
Her Post Went Viral
OP’s post made it’s way to TikTok and Becky, the other sister-in-law, happened to see it. She informed Sarah and soon the entire family found out about it. OP says that “My whole family is split on what I should do, but after a heated argument it was mutually agreed that I will not be attending the wedding. My brother and FSIL cannot seem to comprehend that this is not about the dress but how they treated me.”
Fortunately her mother offered her support by paying for her hotel and airfare to Miami. OP thanked her online supporters “I appreciate all the love and support I got, I will have an amazing time in Maimi and won’t feel the slightest bit guilty thanks to the overwhelmingly positive response I got on here.”
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