The original poster (OP) is a 31-year-old woman who works at a small firm. There are only twelve employees, three of whom, including her, are women. She is also younger than the other two women. Since the employees exceeded their annual goal for 2022, they were treated to a weekend stay at a golf resort. The resort also had a pool, tennis, gym, and other fun activities. She had some personal time on Saturday and decided to lay by the pool and have cocktails. She would meet the rest of the firm for a late lunch at a poolside restaurant afterward.
She decided to buy a new bikini for the event. OP says the bikini was athletic looking, with full bottom coverage like shorts and the top resembling a sports bra. Of course, her belly was showing since it was a bikini. The two women from work told her that wearing the bikini was “gutsy” of her. They told her she was old enough to know that it was stupid and even accused her of wanting to show off to the men. She doesn’t believe they were jealous because they were also in good shape and could easily look good in bikinis.
OP says she didn’t sit in the restaurant with just her bikini, she wore a coverup. However, she walked up to the poolside restaurant with just her bikini. She put the coverup on after greeting everyone and before sitting down.
She believes the swimsuit was rather plain and never intended to attract attention. She also says the other women wore swimsuits but didn’t show their midsections. She is asking the online community if she was wrong to wear the bikini.
The readers are mainly divided on the issue. Some people think she was wrong to go to the restaurant with her coverup on until she sat down.
“Wait, you wore the swimsuit to lunch …? Yea, YTA, lol. Swimsuit covers exist for a reason. Would you show up to lunch in your sports bra and underwear? Vacation or not, wear clothes to lunch, my lord. I understand she was wearing a cover. She walked in without it and put it on at lunch. I still think it’s weird.”
“You are very mistaken if you don’t think that was a work trip. Your reward isn’t a free vacation. Your reward is the work opportunity of networking in informal settings. So yes, she was at work and should have gotten fully covered before meeting everyone for lunch.”
“It should have been on before she arrived at the restaurant imo (in my opinion) so that no one was aware of what design her suit ever was.
If they were able to see the shape and design, then it wasn’t covered in time.”
“Why the heck did you put clothes on at the table and not before? You draw a lot of attention getting dressed at the table than if you would have thrown the coverup before meeting up with your colleagues.”
Others needed help understanding the big deal because poolside restaurants are known to be casual settings.
“Have you actually been to a poolside restaurant at a resort for lunch? This is not a formal setting, and I can’t think of one resort I have been to where I haven’t seen people in various states of undress (read swimwear). This was a casual outdoor lunch. Get a grip.”
“You’re walking from the pool, drying off, and then you put your shirt on when you get to the table? That sounds like incredibly normal resort behavior to me.”
“NTA. I’m a one-piece wearer myself, but I think it really bizarre that some women want to gatekeep the “age appropriateness” of bikinis. Your description of it sounds like all your bits were covered, so they can just pound sand.”
“I’m not saying what you wore is inappropriate because (gasp!) midriff! But, personally, I wouldn’t want my boss (or any other coworkers) picturing me in anything revealing when we’re back at work. When you’re doing anything remotely work-related, even if you’re off the clock, you’re on the clock.”
“It really sounds like these people responding are stuck in the 60s and/or have never been to a resort and do not understand what a casual environment a poolside lunch is. The women you work for, if a bit older, probably are projecting their past norms onto you. I found out at the end of last quarter I am getting a pay bump and title change after spending time in a bikini in front of my coworkers gasp.”
What do you think? Was she wrong to wear a bikini to the work event? Were the other two women out of line for telling her it was stupid or helping her for future events?
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