The original poster (OP) had her son when she was fairly young. Now they are both having babies at the same time and there is a major conflict.
They Are Pregnant at the Same Time
OP says she’s having her “change of life” baby while her son’s girlfriend is also pregnant. OP was four months pregnant already when his girlfriend became pregnant.
She Helps Them With Money
Her son and his girlfriend are still in college so OP helps them financially. She wasn’t happy that they interrupted their studies but she has been supportive.
OP Had Her Baby
OP had a baby girl and named her Clara.
The Girlfriend was Furious
OP says her son’s girlfriend went ballistic because she apparently wanted to name their baby Clara.
They Argued About the Name
The girlfriend told OP she should have consulted her about the name but OP says she was pregnant before the girlfriend and picked the name long before.
OP Told Her to Grow Up
OP told the girlfriend to grow up and that she doesn’t own the name.
Her Son Became Angry
Her son asked her if she would consider changing Clara’s name but OP said no and her son stormed out of the house.
They Had Another Argument
OP’s son and girlfriend told her that they decided to name their daughter Paxtyn. OP made a face after hearing that and the girlfriend started yelling at her that it was OP’s fault because she stole the name that she liked.
The Girlfriend is Petty
OP asked the girlfriend if she likes the name and she said she is going to like it when OP has to tell her friends that her granddaughter is named Paxtyn. OP says the girlfriend hates OP more than she loves her own daughter.
Her Son Gave an Ultimatum
Her son told her that she has two months to fix this – as in change Clara’s name. She told them they are both idiots and she feels bad for their future child.
She Told Him She Will Cut them Off
OP told her son she will cut them off of financial assistance if they name their daughter Paxtyn to be spiteful.
He Called Her Again
Her son called her and said she was being controlling. But when OP asked him if he actually like the name he hung up.
The Readers Respond
Most of the readers support OP in her decision to not change the name of her baby.
They Should Pick a New Name
“NTA they have no claim to the name. You can name your child whatever you choose. Are they planning on making everyone with that name change it? And if they’re “responsible” enough to have a child, they should be perfectly capable of supporting themselves without your help financially.”
They Should Be Supporting Themselves
“You shouldn’t be financially supporting your son and his family anyway. Pay for his college, sure. But this knucklehead knocked up his gf all by himself, so let him be a real daddy, not a pretend daddy, and take care of his family. Let him work 20 hours every weekend supporting them while he’s in school. Let him learn how to budget. Let him learn what it means to be a parent.”
Are They All Acting Immature?
Many readers said she isn’t acting like the parent but withholding money over a name. She should be withholding money because they decided to become parents so they need to be responsible for the family they are creating.
“Blaming a name, retroactively, is passive aggressive and immature. You could say “Great! I’ll call her Paxy-Toodles! Whee!” without threatening to withhold money you shouldn’t be giving in the first place.
“You are playing their game rather than being a parent. You have every right to refuse to assist them but you are taking an adolescent stance as to why. Better to be clear with them, before the baby is born, as to why you are cutting off assistance. They need to grow up, as do you, and quit this bs.”
The Girlfriend is Entitled
The girlfriend is acting very entitled and is being especially rude. She’s also an idiot because she’s biting the hand that feeds them. Yes OP may be acting controlling but the son and girlfriend are acting immature and petty which is sad considering they are about to become parents.
Is there a Compromise?
“NTA. He and his girlfriend are being ridiculous. If they really are choosing a name to spite you, while also treating you rudely, I don’t blame you for wanting to cut him off financially. That said, from a practical perspective, cutting him off may mean you’ll never meet your granddaughter, so consider things carefully. Is there a compromise everyone could reach, like he’d name his daughter “Clarissa” or something close but still distinct?”
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